SIGNUP - FREE Membership and 1 FREE Sewing Lesson
| FAQ | Login
 

Forum > Miscellaneous > Holiday Eating Tips ( Moderated by Deepika, EleanorSews, CynthiaSue)

Please LOGIN or Join PatternReview
Go to Page:
Holiday Eating Tips
'Tis the Season . . . (LOL)
Doris W. in TN
star
Doris W. in TN  Friend of PR
Intermediate
Member since 2/9/04
Posts: 8107
Send Message

      



Date: 11/22/06 8:01 AM

This was posted on another 'net board a few years ago and is priceless. 'Tis the season to resurrect it.....

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.



11. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.


Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, favorite beverage in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

------
iPad's auto-correct is my enema.

nancy2001
starstarstarstar
nancy2001  Friend of PR
Advanced
Alabama USA
Member since 12/3/05
Posts: 6441
Send Message

      



Date: 11/22/06 8:35 AM

Very funny and unfortunately all too true.

My holiday eating tip is to remember that the holidays are Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. All the other days in between are just regular days when we should eat sensibly the way our parents and grandparents did.

------
No sewing project is ever a complete success nor a total failure.

BeckyC
star
BeckyC  Friend of PR
Advanced
Minnesota USA
Member since 5/8/04
Posts: 928
Send Message

      



In reply to Doris W. in TN


Date: 11/22/06 8:40 AM


ROFL

------
I feed my soul by the stitches I sew.



ryan's mom
starstarstar
ryan's mom  Friend of PR
Advanced
Member since 11/30/04
Posts: 4998
Send Message

      



Date: 11/22/06 11:23 AM

!!!

You can add one to the list. Don't wait until after your meal to enjoy your desserts. Eat it before so you can really enjoy it, then eat if after the big meal too.

That's what we do LOL! We watch the Macy's Day Parade on TV starting at 9, then at 10:30 we all have dessert (a sampling of everything, of course ) w/ some chai or coffee. It keeps us filled until 2 or 3 for the Thanksgiving meal.

Then when the kids are hungry at 7 or 8, we have dessert again!

------
Big 4 Pattern size 12, RTW bottom: 6, RTW jacket 8, RTW top (no size fits me well!)
Measurements: 34 HB/36 FB (34C bra)/27.5/36 (and working hard to keep it that way.)
Machines: Sewing: Elna 760, vintage Kenmore Model 33 (1967), Janome Gem Gold 3, Singer Model 99, Singer 221/Featherweight. Sergers: Babylock Imagine and Babylock Enlighten. Embroidery Only: Janome 300E. Embroidery/Sewing Combo: Brother Dream machine. Coverstitch: Babylock BLCS. Straight Stitch: Janome 1600P.

If you think your sewing is better than everyone else's around here, get out of my way b****. I hate sewing snobs.

My blog: www.phatchickdesigns.blogspot.com

Pyrose
star
Pyrose  Friend of PR
Intermediate
Maryland USA
Member since 2/12/06
Posts: 2120
Board Moderator
Send Message

      



Date: 11/22/06 12:29 PM

This was hilarious! I think I'll follow this holiday eating guide. Sounds like fun!

------
Jennifer
pyroses.blogspot.com

ThinkGeek: "E-mail has been around since before computers. At first, e-mails were written on rocks and thrown at neighbors. CC-ing a rock e-mail could be dangerous for an entire village. Then, e-mails were written on paper and put in weird paper things called envelopes and the postal system delivered them. This was slow. Finally, e-mail as we know it came around."

Peggy L
starstarstar
Peggy L  Friend of PR
Advanced
Tennessee USA
Member since 4/8/02
Posts: 5086
Send Message

      



In reply to ryan's mom


Date: 11/22/06 12:39 PM

Nothing better than a "dessert buffet"!!

------
www.thereisjoyadventures.blogspot.com

pterion
starstar
pterion  Friend of PR
Intermediate
Member since 11/29/04
Posts: 767
Send Message

      



Date: 11/22/06 1:30 PM

Oh, this is funny! I'm passing this one along. Thanks for the chuckle.

-Terry H.

Princess Jenny
star
Princess Jenny
Intermediate
Member since 4/8/04
Posts: 511
Send Message

      



Date: 11/27/06 8:14 AM

Funny :)

Unfortunately, the gravy made me suffer horribly after Thanksgiving.
The potatoes were too dry, so mil added lots of gravy (made with turkey grease and drippings) to them while they were being made. Well.... I have been a vegetarian for 9 years or so and unknowingly ate a large helping. This played havoc with my stomach. Turning a simple "Black Friday" into a very black Friday indeed :(

Jen

------
The mark of a true seamstress is not in her ability to sew,
but in her tenacity to rip.

krystalkaes
star
krystalkaes
Colorado USA
Member since 6/6/04
Posts: 540
Send Message

      



In reply to Princess Jenny


Date: 11/27/06 3:15 PM

Oh No! I am sorry to hear this. I was a vegetarian for years and you have my complete sympathy. Oh. . . .


-- Edited on 11/27/06 3:16 PM --

Princess Jenny
star
Princess Jenny
Intermediate
Member since 4/8/04
Posts: 511
Send Message

      



In reply to krystalkaes


Date: 11/27/06 3:29 PM

Awww, thanks
Luckily, it only lasted one day. I was feeling fine by Saturday.

Jen
who is bringing her own mashed potatoes to Christmas dinner- lol!

------
The mark of a true seamstress is not in her ability to sew,
but in her tenacity to rip.

Go to Page:
Please LOGIN or Join PatternReview

printable version Printable Version

* Advertising and soliciting is strictly prohibited on PatternReview.com. If you find a post which is not in agreement with our Terms and Conditions, please click on the Report Post button to report it. Miscellaneous >> Holiday Eating Tips

 
adv. search»
pattern | machine | member
        
Online Class
Understanding Wool Fabrics
Understanding Wool Fabrics

Class Details

Online Class
Bust Adjustments
Bust Adjustments

Class Details

New Look 6130

photo
by: Heatherriq...

Review
You Sew Girl Draped T-Dress Pattern

You Sew Girl Draped T-Dress Pattern

More Info
Beginner Sewing Lab 104 - A downloadable Book by Shannon Gifford

Beginner Sewing Lab 104  - A downloadable Book by Shannon Gifford

More Info

Conditions of Use | Posting Guidelines | Privacy Policy | Shipping Rates | Returns & Refunds | Contact Us | About | New To PR | Advertising

Copyright © 2014 PatternReview.com® , OSATech, Inc. All rights reserved.