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Message Board > Miscellaneous > Holiday Eating Tips ( Moderated by Deepika, EleanorSews, CynthiaSue)

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Holiday Eating Tips
'Tis the Season . . . (LOL)
Doris W. in TN
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Doris W. in TN  Friend of PR
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Date: 11/22/06 8:01 AM

This was posted on another 'net board a few years ago and is priceless. 'Tis the season to resurrect it.....

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.



11. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.


Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, favorite beverage in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

nancy2001
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Date: 11/22/06 8:35 AM

Very funny and unfortunately all too true.

My holiday eating tip is to remember that the holidays are Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. All the other days in between are just regular days when we should eat sensibly the way our parents and grandparents did.

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No sewing project is ever a complete success nor a total failure.

BeckyC
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In reply to Doris W. in TN


Date: 11/22/06 8:40 AM


ROFL

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I feed my soul by the stitches I sew.



ryan's mom
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ryan's mom
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Date: 11/22/06 11:23 AM

!!!

You can add one to the list. Don't wait until after your meal to enjoy your desserts. Eat it before so you can really enjoy it, then eat if after the big meal too.

That's what we do LOL! We watch the Macy's Day Parade on TV starting at 9, then at 10:30 we all have dessert (a sampling of everything, of course ) w/ some chai or coffee. It keeps us filled until 2 or 3 for the Thanksgiving meal.

Then when the kids are hungry at 7 or 8, we have dessert again!

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Big 4 Pattern size 12, RTW bottom: 6, RTW jacket 8, RTW top (no size fits me well!)
Measurements: 34 HB/36 FB (34C bra)/27.5/36 (and working hard to keep it that way.)
Machines: Sewing/Embroidery Combo Machine: Janome MC15000. Sewing Machines: Elna 740, vintage Kenmore Model 33 (1967), Janome Gem Gold 3. Sergers: Babylock Imagine and Babylock Enlighten. Embroidery Only: Janome 300E

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Pyrose
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Pyrose  Friend of PR
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Date: 11/22/06 12:29 PM

This was hilarious! I think I'll follow this holiday eating guide. Sounds like fun!

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Jennifer
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ThinkGeek: "E-mail has been around since before computers. At first, e-mails were written on rocks and thrown at neighbors. CC-ing a rock e-mail could be dangerous for an entire village. Then, e-mails were written on paper and put in weird paper things called envelopes and the postal system delivered them. This was slow. Finally, e-mail as we know it came around."

Peggy L
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In reply to ryan's mom


Date: 11/22/06 12:39 PM

Nothing better than a "dessert buffet"!!

------
www.thereisjoyadventures.blogspot.com

pterion
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pterion  Friend of PR
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Date: 11/22/06 1:30 PM

Oh, this is funny! I'm passing this one along. Thanks for the chuckle.

-Terry H.

Princess Jenny
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Princess Jenny
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Date: 11/27/06 8:14 AM

Funny :)

Unfortunately, the gravy made me suffer horribly after Thanksgiving.
The potatoes were too dry, so mil added lots of gravy (made with turkey grease and drippings) to them while they were being made. Well.... I have been a vegetarian for 9 years or so and unknowingly ate a large helping. This played havoc with my stomach. Turning a simple "Black Friday" into a very black Friday indeed :(

Jen

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but in her tenacity to rip.

krystalkaes
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krystalkaes
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In reply to Princess Jenny


Date: 11/27/06 3:15 PM

Oh No! I am sorry to hear this. I was a vegetarian for years and you have my complete sympathy. Oh. . . .


-- Edited on 11/27/06 3:16 PM --

Princess Jenny
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In reply to krystalkaes


Date: 11/27/06 3:29 PM

Awww, thanks
Luckily, it only lasted one day. I was feeling fine by Saturday.

Jen
who is bringing her own mashed potatoes to Christmas dinner- lol!

------
The mark of a true seamstress is not in her ability to sew,
but in her tenacity to rip.

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