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Message Board > Miscellaneous > I am Fed Up ( Moderated by Deepika, EleanorSews, CynthiaSue)

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I am Fed Up
with my son.........
SouthernStitch
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SouthernStitch  Friend of PR
Intermediate
LA
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Date: 1/25/12 3:07 PM

Okay, so I usually don't like to complain online, but I swear I can't take it anymore! Many of you know he moved back in oh about what 5 months ago or so. Feels like a year.
He is a pig. My sewing room is nothing but a junk pile - ALL the time. When I walked in there yesterday to see Fruit Loops stuck to the carpet, and bowls and spoons under the bed (oh, that's where they went) --- I thought I would go to the moon and back Alice!!

Then, something weird happened to my $200 Frontgate inflatable bed he's been using (too lazy to go get his own bed from storage). Now it has a huge bubble in the middle and he has to sleep sideways on it. I think he keeps it over inflated.
I'm just DONE!! No respect for my home.

He and my daughter are constantly fighting. They have never gotten along. She will be next, but he's got to go first.
I am going to look at a couple of trailers for him today and tomorrow. I'd rather never own the 830 of my dreams than to have him here.
He's working, but it's contract work for a computer repair business. He has to use his own gas and car to go on these calls, and only gets 22% of what's charged. He doesn't make a whole lot of money. But it's enough to pay me $150 for the trailer, and $200 a month for the lot lease. Then he'll only have an electrical bill.
And, there is the possibility of him getting a job where I work too, so that's a good thing.

So, I'm hoping to have my sewing room back soon.

-- Edited on 1/25/12 3:08 PM --

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Bernina 780, and 530
Juki TL2010
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When life gives you green velvet curtains, make a green velvet dress.

Elona
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In reply to SouthernStitch


Date: 1/25/12 3:35 PM

If the kid is neither a minor nor disabled...

You didn't ask for advice, but if you did, I'd sure have some!

gramma b
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gramma b
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Date: 1/25/12 3:47 PM

His age?
This is happening to empty-nesters a lot, with the economy hard on the younger generation too. But when they move back, you're like a mom to teens again--cleaning, laundry, cooking, worrying over late hours, money-lender, feeding their friends, and you lose your privacy. Gotta use Tough Love, they might get mad but they will be forced to grow up eventually.
***You've earned your space, so control it!

Make a chart of house rules and chores, just like for little kids on The Nanny and sign a contract. Infractions merit consequences. Give him a couple months deadline to get a place to share with friends and how soon they will realize all moms do for them--that's why they get gf's to move in! He may have to move to a different city for a better job or get a 2nd one. The longer they get "kept" at your house, the harder it is for them to move on.

SouthernStitch
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SouthernStitch  Friend of PR
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In reply to gramma b


Date: 1/25/12 3:53 PM

Quote:
You've earned your space, so control it

This is what I'm thinking!! I tell him repeatedly that I spent a lot of money to get that space like I want it.
So true! I don't do his laundry, but he sure has gotten used to my awful cooking. Oh well, he knows he is always welcome to come visit and eat.

I'll admit, I've given him more time than was initially agreed on, due to the single parent guilt trip. Due to choices I made at times, they did suffer a bit. But I do remind them that others have suffered FAR worse than they ever did (no abuse or anything like that), and they have to just get over it, and do whatever is necessary to make it in life. I won't be here forever!

Oh one bright spot. There is a Torrid store coming here, and DD went for an interview today. She said they told her that she seemed to exemplify and understand all Torrid is about. Crossing fingers and toes.......
-- Edited on 1/25/12 3:54 PM --

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Bernina 780, and 530
Juki TL2010
Babylock Evolution
Singer 403a

When life gives you green velvet curtains, make a green velvet dress.

marec
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Date: 1/25/12 3:57 PM

I am over here with Elona. Good luck!

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my blog: http://kf-biblioblog.blogspot.com/
Sewing through my pattern stash-145
completed.

JTink
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JTink
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VA USA
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Date: 1/25/12 4:13 PM

A word of advice... If you do buy a trailer and want him to pay you back(and rent on the space)make sure you get a signed contract and stick to it. Ask me how I know Also, if he has such little regard for your home, he will disrespect the trailer as well. If your name is on the "deed" to the trailer and the rental space, you will be the one responsible for repairing the damages and up keep. I don't blame you for being upset. My oldest(before moving out)use to stash uneaten food and empty bowls in his room. That stopped the day I finally figured out what the nasty smell was coming from his room...a dead mouse!!!!!! I was ready to burn the house down

SexiSadi
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In reply to Elona


Date: 1/25/12 4:20 PM

Quote: Elona
If the kid is neither a minor nor disabled...



You didn't ask for advice, but if you did, I'd sure have some!

What she said...

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http://theramblingsoftcm.blogspot.com/
Numbers for 2013:
Yards in stash: 606.25
Yards in: 22.75
Yards out: 10.50

Numbers for 2012:
594.00 yards in stash
4 yards in
10.25 yards out

Numbers for 2011:
601.25 yards in stash (I'm sure this number is off by a few yards)
Yards in: 137.50 (Seriously? I'm over 100, and it's only JULY? Ugh!)
Yards out: 88.75

PattiAnnJ
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PattiAnnJ
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Date: 1/25/12 4:24 PM

Give him a two week notice and stick to it.

Forgot to add - offer the first month rent and nothing more. Stay out of it and he will find something on his own.




-- Edited on 1/25/12 4:26 PM --

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I dont give them Hell, I just tell the truth about them and they think its Hell. Harry Truman

"Improvise, adapt and overcome." - Clint Eastwood/Heartbreak Ridge

allycovey
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allycovey  Friend of PR
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AR USA
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Date: 1/25/12 5:11 PM

I helped my son find an apartment and made him sign his own lease and that was it. Middle daughter had to be asked to either do chores or leave... She left and recently called complaining about her messy roomate ( oh how things change) All are doing well now and have even thanked me for making them do things on thier own.

Learn To Sew
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Learn To Sew  Friend of PR
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In reply to SouthernStitch


Date: 1/25/12 5:53 PM

I can see your blood pressure is through the roof. I thought this was only for 1 month or 6 weeks and not 6 months. Kick him OUT and be done with it. Make him grow up.

While I understand he does not make much money, neither did my Dad when I was young, but we did ok. We never had much, but I would NEVER get away with a dirty bedroom and I had to do chores. Does he do chores? I believe he is 30 years old now, so kick him out. NOW.



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I am a Quilter at heart. I love to play with fabrics, patterns and colors. Recently I have discovered I enjoy doing applique. I love making pictures. Using a sewing machine is much easier than counted cross stitch or oil painting for me. I enjoy landscape quilting as well. I am working on my first applique project in the spring of 2014.
Bernina 630, my main machine
Pfaff 2036, my class machine
Babylock Molly
Bernina 1200DA serger
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