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Message Board > Miscellaneous > Kill me now ( Moderated by Deepika, EleanorSews, CynthiaSue)

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Kill me now
or give me advice-planning afamily reunion
kkkkaty
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kkkkaty  Friend of PR
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UT USA
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Date: 4/25/12 0:48 AM

ok, this is a vent.. my brother is going thru a divorce, selling his house, dealing with kids (which I don't have), and also suggested an east-coast family reunion this summer. he asked if I would find a place for us all to stay. His my little brother, and I said yes, so working on details... the location is Cape Cod... but am dealing with people who won't express an opinion, or have way too many, or don't say if they are coming or not or... I know how to deal with these things (Won't say if you're coming... no prob, good luck finding a place to stay if you do...), but still... Argh! Argh! I hope I love them all as much after the reunion as I do now ;)

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Viking Lily 545
Viking Ruby
Bernina Activa 210
Brother 1034d

kkkkaty
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kkkkaty  Friend of PR
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Date: 4/25/12 0:50 AM

wow, I feel better for having said that! Thanks, PR! Going to bed now....

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Viking Lily 545
Viking Ruby
Bernina Activa 210
Brother 1034d

kathi s

kathi s
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Date: 4/25/12 2:15 AM

Oh Kkkkaty, there are soo many oportunities for disaster in a family reunion. Mine, with my whole extended family (15 people) crammed into 2 tiny vacation cabins, went through more meltdowns than japan. My advice is plan lots of away time for your family and have a "plan b" set up so when all the old grudges get hauled out (you got all the good stuff and I got nothing, wah, wah) you can grab your emergency suitcase and fly (alone) to Paris or Cabo.
Good luck!

KathySews
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KathySews  Friend of PR
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Date: 4/25/12 5:09 AM

Just remember that it is easier to complain than to help out. So try to keep your sense of humor, remember Murphy's law and have a nice time.
-- Edited on 4/25/12 5:10 AM --

kkkkaty
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kkkkaty  Friend of PR
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Date: 4/25/12 8:31 AM

thanks, Kathi and Kathy, it definitely helped to vent, and I appreciate the feedback and thoughts.... had a nice email this am from one fam member with gracious thank yous, and that helped also. I'm sure the road won't be perfectly smooth, but we'll get there...

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Viking Lily 545
Viking Ruby
Bernina Activa 210
Brother 1034d

pfaffkj

pfaffkj
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In reply to kkkkaty <<


Date: 4/25/12 8:38 AM

You are one brave woman!!

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Karen

Yards in stash: I don't want to know!
2013 yards sewn: 1
2013 yards bought: 5


skae
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In reply to kkkkaty <<


Date: 4/25/12 9:01 AM

on a family reunion we alway set it in a park. We are having one this year. The last time we had a reunion on my dads side we put it in the news paper and said potluck. Bring something to share.
It turned out great. relative you didn't know came.
Use facebook to let them know two month in advance, then again one month, then two weeks. They should get the measage then.
Even email all the ralatives that you have emails for then have them forward to the rest. You will make it happen. Just believe in your self that you can.

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Galatians 5:22-23 The Spirit produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control. There is no law against such things as these

KitnRose
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KitnRose
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Date: 4/25/12 12:26 PM

So the closest I've ever come to planning a family reunion was a wedding and even that was easier - a cousin got married a month before me and so hers had all the extended family stuff, mine just got those who were willing to travel twice in a summer. We both agreed I got the better deal.

With that - personally I'd start with the idea of holding the big, central gathering at a local park or beach since (a) it works if you have 5 or 50 show up, (b) good price if it is just 5 of you, and (c) usually there's a playground for the younger set to entertain themselves. Plus, bonus, it's traditional. I'd also pick a hotel or two nearby and call them about group rates. While not fool-proof, it means that there's an incentive for relatives to book there by a certain date to get the rate and that helps you figure out rough numbers. Plus you can talk to the hotel about using their conference room in case of rain. It's at least a starting point.

Throwing a family reunion is about 10 times more annoying than a wedding, imho. At least with a wedding there's a central couple who, at least in theory, have the final say. With a family reunion everyone feels like it's THEIR gathering and should get final say whether they're actually doing anything or not.

I'd seriously try to farm out certain planning duties (arranging for food, putting together a slide show, whatever) to the noisiest of relatives while, of course, keeping in reserve the number for a local place, just in case.

And hopefully with all the planning things will go well. Our last family reunion on dad's side was a blast - we all met up at Vancouver, went various ways on Friday and Saturday (and somehow managed to never accidentally leave anyone anywhere), and then had a big dinner and slide show at the hotel Saturday night. Great times.

Good luck!

------
Kit
"Never underestimate the power of the right dress!" - drsue
"Hyu gots to know how to sveet tok de costumers, dollink" - Girl Genius, 11-24-08

Mom to 5
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Mom to 5
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MD USA
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Date: 4/25/12 1:39 PM

we have ours in a banquet hall in the city of choice ( we pick a different major metro area every other year... during the reunion, we put names of the next potential city and pick it then)... we ask for volunteers for hosts, though it seems to always alternate between 2 people...

everything catered... costs known 18-24 months in advance.... payment plan set up at that time if need be... Show up or miss out!

its usually July 4th weekend so we make a list of other events going on in that city that weekend...if enough people want to go, we divide the costs of renting a coach bus.... More often than not its a bunch of us relaxing by the pool at the hotel/banquet facility


MORAL: dont ask for too many opinions or give too many choices.... it is what it is... tell the party poopers to enjoy it, take notes of what you didnt like and make sure you plan the next one
-- Edited on 4/25/12 1:50 PM --

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http://mamazsewingescapadez.blogspot.com/

ShantiSeamstressing
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ShantiSeamstressing
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Posts: 1577
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Date: 4/25/12 2:30 PM

Ours too is held in a park, potluck style, asked to bring 1 hot, 1 cold dish. The relatives nearby set up/take down; the ones far away are just expected to come and bring the food. Emails are sent 6 mos., 2 mos., 2 weeks in advance.

So kind of you to do this for your younger brother!

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