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In Stitches
Post your funny sewing stories here!
DianeSev
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DianeSev
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Date: 5/21/12 11:08 AM

We've all had them happen...funny sewing incidents.

Maybe your first pair of pants looked like something a clown might wear. Maybe you cut out a dress without realizing that those big circles might look like bulls-eye targets. Maybe you had the sewing day from hell.

We'd like to hear about it...in your own words. We're introducing a column called "In Stitches" to capture those funny stories in our sewing lives, and we're looking for submissions from YOU!

Post your stories here in this topic. Stories should be between 350 and 500 words in length.

If we select your story to be published on the PR blog, you'll receive a Friends of PatternReview membership (or an extension to your current membership).

Bring a smile to PR members' days!

-- Edited on 5/21/12 11:09 AM --

Stellita
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Date: 5/22/12 1:05 PM

I was dating a tall, handsome blond man who desperately needed a nice shirt, and I volunteered to make one for him. It was my first experience in men's shirts. I shopped diligently for the right color to bring out his blue, blue eyes, and buttons to match perfectly. I measured again and again and couldn't believe the pattern was right--he couldn't have 36 inch arms! So I shortened the sleeves appropriately, finished the cuffs with loving care (long plackets included), and pressed it. My model put it on. Perfect color--but the cuffs ended at his elbow! Men's shirt sleeves are measured from the middle of the neck. We laughed so hard we cried. I was able to shorten the sleeves to make a short sleeve shirt, but never forgot the picture of the tall dude in the short shirt.

------
kris

Holmar
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Holmar
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Date: 5/22/12 5:30 PM

My funny sewing story involves my husband. His Father was the one in the family who would repair any clothing that needed to be mended. His Mom, loved to sew beautiful patch-work quilts on her old sewing machine, but did not enjoy sewing clothing at all. One day my cousin and my sister in law dropped by for a visit and while I was making coffee for them, my husband asked me to fix his torn work pants. I told him I would get to it later, he then said not to bother...he could do it him self. I told him where the sewing box was, he sat down with me and the girls and started to mend his pants. Of course, he bragged that men could do just as good a job at sewing ...if not better...then any woman....when he was done sewing...he stood up...and declared..."see... I told you I could do it"....but when he tried to remove his work pants from his lap...we all laughed so hard when we realized he had sewn his work pants to the jeans he was wearing. This still cracks me up ....
-- Edited on 5/22/12 5:42 PM --
-- Edited on 5/22/12 5:58 PM --
-- Edited on 8/24/12 1:08 PM --

poorpigling

poorpigling
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In reply to DianeSev <<
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Date: 5/22/12 6:19 PM


Oh. this should be lots of fun.. Great idea..

Of course I .. myself.. never even got 1.99 cents for any of my stories here.. Perhaps they were too long winded..
A lot of what happens in my real life makes it into my longer stories sooner or later.. but I do look forward to others contributing to this. we all have content I am sure.



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Date: 5/23/12 0:27 AM

Not sure how funny it is.

My cat was a rescue. I have this beautiful, long haired solid black cat that was not doing well. About 2 months after I got him, I got my treadle sewing machine. I spent 6 weeks working on it to clean it and get it working right, and it is what made the cat come out of his shell.

He sat on the machine, he placed his paws on the fabric and helped "sew", he rode the pedal. He, in short, decided that the machine was his friend, and it is what caused Ernie to become part of the family.

After I got a divorce, I only got my cat and my machine. Without both, I probably wouldn't be here today. So I get them to Tennessee, and I'm sewing and Ernie is doing what Ernie does. My mom's Pomeranian comes into the room, and decides "hey this is fun!" and starts to ride the pedal when I sew.

Ernie does not like free riders.

Cat gets down and gets on the pedal with the dog. Neither like this. Cat swipes dog, dog growls, big fight comes on.

Right at MY feet where I can't get them out of the way.

Want to guess where this is going? Yep. I got 6 stitches in the arch of my foot.

NCDeb
NCDeb
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Date: 5/24/12 12:40 PM

My funny story is about my daughter's dog, Layla who loves balls. I was dog sitting and got out of the shower to discover she had managed to jump up and get the lovely ball sitting atop my sewing machine cabinet – my large pincushion full of pins. She had torn it apart as she tossed it all around my living room leaving long trails of sawdust, sprinkled with pins and a small scrap of fabric. Never had thought how much a pincushion looks like a ball – a big mistake! Unfortunately a quick trip to the vet for x-rays showed she had managed to swallow a long quilting pin with a flower head– don’t ask me how this small dog got it down her throat-- and had to have major surgery to remove the pin and a bunch of sawdust (the not so funny part of the story). Imagine my daughter’s concern when she got a voicemail from the vet that morning saying they needed a form they forgot to get me to sign faxed back for Layla’s surgery. She called me and asked, “Is Layla okay? What did Layla eat now?” – the dog is notorious for eating weird things, especially if they look like balls (Xmas ornaments, potpourri balls, etc.) but this was the most unusual. The thing must have had 100 pins in! Her love of balls overcame the prickliness or else she has no nerve endings in her mouth as the pins didn’t seem to dissuade her that this might not be a good thing to chew on. She fully recovered, thankfully and is now banned from my sewing room and I have learned to look at everything as a potential ball when she is around.

manicmom

manicmom
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Oregon USA
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In reply to Stellita <<
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Date: 5/24/12 3:24 PM

OMG!!! That would make for great 'make-up' sex, I'm sure!!!

manicmom

manicmom
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Oregon USA
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Date: 5/24/12 3:28 PM

We HAVE to elect this story, GOLLY!!!
I too have a cat that thinks she's a person, she sits on the bathroom counter while I do my make-up, she wants to watch the words appear on my computer in my lap, she helps and plays in the fabric if I'm spreading it out on the LR floor. Hilarious!!!

manicmom

manicmom
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Oregon USA
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In reply to NCDeb <<
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Date: 5/24/12 3:30 PM

My heart was pounding as I read thru all of this story!!!

rmusic1
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Date: 5/24/12 6:45 PM

I can see the funnier side now, but trust me, last week I was seriously loosing my patience.

My neighbour asked me to make a copy of her dressing gown (a much loved terry stretch). I helped her choose a striped cotton jersey fabric.

Fast forward one week. The quick and simple task had snowballed somewhat. Unpicking the narrow seams had taken a whole evening (someone asked why had I not cut them off. Didn't occur to me!), and I had quickly realised the original had stretched out of shape. The pieces were not symmetrical.

I thought I would start with the pockets. Now, I have done a number of pockets before. But these were different then usual, they only had one side, which was stitched to the front of the dressing gown.

day one. Start stitching. Realise the edges I had carefully turned back at the opening would be visible from the outside. Unpick.

day two. Start again. Realise pocket is sewn on the wrong side. Unpick.

day three. Try again, remembering to make sure dratted pocket is on the inside and turning the edges the right way. Looking good. Til I realise it is upside down (this is after sewing the front and back together). Unpick.

day four. The night before day four, hang dressing gown body on dress form and admire nice finished pockets before drifting off to sleep. Hang on a minute. It doesn't look right. Get out of bed. Yup, for some reason one pocket is waaaaay too low down the side, I must have mistaken my markings (I blame all the unpicking). Unpick.

The latest saga is the zip, which has turned out wavy. Unpicked that too. It is now shoved in a plastic bag, and I am starting another project until I have the strength and will to pick it up again.

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