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Forum > Miscellaneous > Fighting w/ Neighbors ( Moderated by Deepika, EleanorSews, CynthiaSue)

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Fighting w/ Neighbors
over child abuse, I need a hug
Melody
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Melody
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Date: 7/22/12 11:07 AM

Last night I witnessed my neighbors verbally abusing their son who is maybe 10. They called him all kinds of humiliating names (n-word, b*tch, f*ck and "girl"{because he was crying}) and told him that he couldn't sleep under their roof. They made him leave and he didn't have any shoes on. My husband & I went looking for him but we couldn't find him. I think he went to one of his friend's homes but still. This morning I told my neighbors that what they had done was abusive. What ensued was a huge screaming match, but it was abuse and I told them that it wasn't acceptable. I also told them that I was putting them on notice and that while I shouldn't warn them, that I will call the authorities if I see or hear anything.

I expected that they would not respond well but I don't care. I feel bad that I didn't stop it at the time and that I didn't find him and bring him back to my house. So I was up all night worrying about this poor little boy. I haven't seen him, I went over their house at 8am and I was told he was home. This is extremely unsettling. I knew his dad was hard on him and I thought of it as his "authoritative parenting style" but he crossed a line last night and the fact that he was openly yelling this at this kid across several yards makes me think that that's not all. They have six kids ranging in age from 21 to 3 or 4. They always seem so nice except for this one boy. I'm ashamed that I didn't say something sooner. I didn't because I was afraid but since I was up all night thinking about that poor little boy and how afraid he must have been, I was empowered to tell them what the deal was. I hate that I went down to their level and after they told my husband and I to get the eff off of their property, I yelled back, "at least I don't abuse kids, B*^ch!"

The whole thing is just a bad business and I'm still extremely anxious. Any support would be appreciated and any criticisms will be deeply considered. Thank you PatternReveiw Peeps for letting me unburden my heavy heart.

------
Melody

Ugh, really?

no7262
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no7262
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Date: 7/22/12 11:16 AM

Since you have gone this far why not go a step further.... Call the police. If this is what IS going on outside, then what is going on inside could be a whole lot worse. He already has too many scars.... Have you seen him? If not then you don't now for sure that he came home last night. What you decide to do is your choice. The parents will be very careful when they are out side, you can be sure of that.

{{{Hugs}}}
Nora :)

------
Nora :)

tgm and Kittys
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tgm and  Kittys
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In reply to Melody <<


Date: 7/22/12 11:16 AM

I do not have any advice for you.... but Hugs & Best wishes to you Melody.... I think you did the right thing.....

------
Home of the adorable Baby & Mittee girl >^,,^<

Oh my..here we go again, no job...Sighing allot..


Debbie Lancaster
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Date: 7/22/12 11:17 AM

You did the right thing. Call Child Protection Services on Monday.

------
Debbie

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Date: 7/22/12 11:22 AM

Hugs! I do think you should call the police though, even after the fact. They don't need a warning; no one should treat a child (or an adult in my opinion) like that ever.

And don't feel bad about yelling at them. Maybe it'll even help and make them think twice before yelling at their children again.

Melody
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Date: 7/22/12 11:26 AM

I would call CPS but I know that because it was verbal abuse (and no evidence of it), not much will be done and it could make the situation much, much worse for the child. I plan on speaking with the child and basically, I'll be watching them.

------
Melody

Ugh, really?

mastdenman
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Date: 7/22/12 11:58 AM

I've always been told that CPS will investigate, but cannot immediately take any action. Police can take immediate action, so if the child is endangered, the police should be called. I'm sorry that this is happening.

------
Marilyn

January 2009 to January 2010 81 yards out and 71yards in January 2010 to the present 106.7 yards out and 146.5 yards in. January 2011 to the present: 47 yards out and 69 yards in.

Canadian Jane
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Canadian Jane
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In reply to Melody <<
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Date: 7/22/12 12:03 PM

This child is 10 and they kicked him out of the house on top of the verbal abuse? Not acceptable. Even if the boy has behavioural problems and his parents were at their wits' end you cannot kick a child to the curb.

I would call the police and social services as soon as you can. A 10 year old is not able to fend for himself. They may not be able to prove the verbal abuse but they can sure find out where he was and why it got to the point of "reverse" abandonning their child.

I would also consider telling a few of my neighbours. Not to gossip. but to ask them to keep an eye out too. This boy needs all the guardian angels he can get. This family needs help that they for sure won't get if everyone turns a blind eye.

You done good Girl!!

PS - don't feel bad about "stooping" down to their level. You did the best you could in that moment and you had the boy's best interest at heart. These situations are very overwhelming and few of us are trained/prepared to handle them with utmost professionalism. Next time - if there is one - you will be better prepared to not let your feelings let your "inside" voice loose.

HTH

Debbie Lancaster
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In reply to Melody <<
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Date: 7/22/12 12:17 PM

Quote: Melody
I would call CPS but I know that because it was verbal abuse (and no evidence of it), not much will be done and it could make the situation much, much worse for the child. I plan on speaking with the child and basically, I'll be watching them.

It's an unfortunate fact that your confronting these people may have already made the situation much worse, since they are likely to take out their anger about being confronted on the child himself.

The thing that frequently hampers CPS and the police is that people often do not report things like this because they feel it won't make any difference, thus depriving the agencies of the ability to build a case against the abusers. You don't know, for example, whether local agencies already have a file on them, with one more report being the one that triggers an official investigation.

------
Debbie

a7yrstitch
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In reply to Melody <<


Date: 7/22/12 12:20 PM

Comment already read by OP.

to the OP.
-- Edited on 7/23/12 8:00 PM --

------
I have no idea what Apple thought I was saying so be a Peach and credit anything bizarre to auto correct.

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