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Forum > Miscellaneous > Having a very personal surgery... ( Moderated by Deepika, EleanorSews, CynthiaSue)

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Having a very personal surgery...
What do I tell people??
JJane
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JJane
Canada
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Date: 10/4/12 3:07 PM

I decided to have breast reduction surgery. In Canada the que is long for these things. Today I got the call to schedule an appt. I was thinking January but it looks like I could have it done in November.

I am scared but I know it is the right thing to do. Here is my dilema.

I don't want to tell people, especially DH family that I am having this specific surgery. I don't want to talk about, explain my reasons, or worst of all... have my male in laws stare at my "newly sized" chest everytime I walk in the room. I can't blame them. What I have now is pretty massive.

Can I say something like "I am having a surgery to have some cysts and tissue removed (true). it for cancer (true) and the surgery will make future mamograms much easier and more accurate to read (also true)."

Even just writing that my brain is screaming "Oh come on - just call it."

Do I just need to get over myself and just spill the beans already and let them think what they think, do what they do??

I think for me talking about it is harder than the actual surgery. I did not realize how self concous I am about how awful I feel I look (short, huge boobs, overweight but working on it). That is probably the real root of the problem.

Any advise, words of wisdom, been there done that? I would sure appreciate it.








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poorpigling

poorpigling
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Date: 10/4/12 3:10 PM

I wouldn't tell them anything.. and hope they are not ill mannered enough to ask..
But just in case.. better have something snappy to say.. such as '' i was sick and you better hope its not tooooo contagious.''

Ackk.. had to edit. sorry.
-- Edited on 10/4/12 3:52 PM --

KathySews
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KathySews  Friend of PR
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Date: 10/4/12 3:24 PM

I understand what you are going through. But, unless you are able to stay out of sight for a few weeks, people will notice you were in the hospital and will naturally ask what is going on out of concern. I think it is fine to say you had some cysts removed and leave it at that. Be sure DH clearly understands you do not want this discussed. As the song goes "ain't nobody's business but my own"

Good luck to you.

marec
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marec  Friend of PR
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Date: 10/4/12 3:28 PM

You do not need to provide specifics. In fact, you could even say "It is nothing serious and I'd rather not talk about it". A well mannered listener should get the message without you resorting to a round about explanation.

My MIL had surgery for hemmorroids (sp?) years and years ago. She never told us and I don't blame her :-)

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sarah in nyc

sarah in nyc
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In reply to JJane <<
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Date: 10/4/12 3:37 PM

I'm having some girl stuff surgery done.

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CosmicFabulosity
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Date: 10/4/12 3:37 PM

I have to second the idea of making sure DH understands you don't want this discussed. But I'd certainly like to think it wouldn't need to be said.

Good luck and I hope everything goes well with the procedure and the recovery.

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Mufffet
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Date: 10/4/12 3:39 PM

I always remember Ann Landers giving this advice: "Whatever YOU chose to tell, is what you say. Then if anyone wants to question you further you say "My goodness, why would you ask such a question?"A great come back. Your health in any respect is your business.

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NottaWadder
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In reply to sarah in nyc <<
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Date: 10/4/12 3:47 PM

Quote: sarah in nyc
I'm having some girl stuff surgery done.

This was what I said when I had the same surgery...I understand your concerns, yes been there, done that.

I think I even said something like I lost weight during my recovery...it has been a long time ago now so I do not remember the specifics but I remember being very uncomfortable about explaining it!

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sewfrequent

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Date: 10/4/12 3:47 PM

KathySews has very good advice and that's definitely all that needs to be said. it satisfies their curiousity just fine and leaves no room for further inquiries that would make you uncomfortable.

michellep74
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Date: 10/4/12 4:24 PM

I'm planning to have this done in a couple of years when I'm done having kids/nursing.

I always figured that I'd tell people that I was having surgery to relieve back pain.

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--Michelle

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