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Message Board > Miscellaneous > Is it Okay to Call Me Fat to My Face ? ( Moderated by Deepika, EleanorSews, CynthiaSue)

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Is it Okay to Call Me Fat to My Face ?
Rude People Without Manners
Bert62
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Date: 3/22/13 9:40 PM

Okay, I know I am fat. I don't love being fat and I am constantly watching my calories. Nevertheless I have become rather mammoth. In addition I am six-foot-seven. So, I look like a big wall.
Now, here's my problem: Twice within the last year some innocent child has remarked about my fat. Tonight, in the mall a cute little, girl maybe four or five shouted rather loudly "look Mommy at the big fat man." Yes, it's embarrassing to be called out on the obvious and yes, I can handle it. What I can't handle is no parental interference. The mom could have said she was sorry or something but they just kept walking on. This nearly identical situation happened about a year ago with another innocent child and at least two parents and/or grandparents accompanying the child and saying nothing to correct the child and no type of any apology to me. Can we all just say what we're thinking out loud? Because I have plenty I would like to share ! What happened to civilization? Thanks, Bert

-- Edited on 3/22/13 9:55 PM --

EleanorSews
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Date: 3/22/13 9:49 PM

No, it is not OK to just blurt out anything no matter what. People need to be considerate of others. There are many circumstances of which we are not aware that might govern what goes on for another person. Kindness and consideration are worthy qualities to teach a child. Carelessness, lack of consideration or outright meanness are not terribly attractive qualities nor should they be cultivated.

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poorpigling

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Date: 3/22/13 9:49 PM

Just makes you want to shout out.. '' Look.. there's a kid with bad manners ''

But Bert.. with children.. well they tend to speak out .. its just natural to them... Long ago.. Art Linkletter had a show on TV. Where he had a segment with children.. referred to as Kids say the Darnest things I think it was..

At any rate.. try not to take it to heart.. and if it happens again.. as it will. form a comeback.. such as saying.. '' I prefer to think of myself as muscles in training.. ''

Bert62
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Date: 3/22/13 9:53 PM

Yes, of course I cannot fault a little child - but, I sure would like to have the guts to speak to the non-parenting parent.
I think I'm more upset about the collapse of civilization. Then I wonder if the parents are so self righteous in their non-fatness. Am I indeed fair game?
-- Edited on 3/22/13 10:00 PM --

threaddy
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Date: 3/22/13 10:32 PM

I agree with PP ...just have a cute comeback..."lots of fat trying to grow up into muscle" or some such thing. I am not sure if a parent trying to shush up their child and hurrying off is any better is it? I am sure in the not too distant future some kid will say..."hey look at that ugly old lady, how come she has so many wrinkles?."Maybe I'll have to carry a dried up apple and say "not as bad as this!...look at it and say...hmm maybe worse....hey kid, wanna apple?"

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gabrielle

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Date: 3/22/13 11:01 PM

What was said to you wasn't acceptable, Bert, and if they'll comment on your appearance they're also comfortable speaking thus to others. Presumably their parents are as well--how would one know otherwise?

I think I've run out of cute comebacks. I have no issue with speaking to the parent and requesting that they show some civility. Whether or not one takes it personally, it's deeply unpleasant behavior.

I have young children myself, and sure, they can be rude. However, I work pretty hard teaching them to be considerate of others. I think it cuts both ways too, doesn't it? If you teach a child to respect others, then then the child learns to insist on respect for herself as well. At least this is what I've noticed.

Man, I sound pompous...I can't help it.However, it does seem like incivility of this sort is more common. In fact, it seems like there are fewer boundaries than ever. Now I'm going to go make a pot of tea and brood. ;)

poorpigling

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Date: 3/22/13 11:04 PM


Bert.. jn a perfect scenario.. the parent would have apologized to you at the time.. but .. in this day and age.. where so many people who are offended might have lashed out at either the parent or the child or both.. I can understand leaving as fast as possible. Lets hope the parent spoke to the child when they got home.. If not.. sooner or later someone.. most likely a teacher will ....
I am sure we have all scene a situation while out shopping etc.. where someone tried to apologize where the apology was not accepted.. and it was not a pretty scene.. I have seen this happen.. and both in stores and restaurants.. Its a pity as its just good manners to accept an apology.. none of us are perfect.. and speaking before we think.. or post... happens to all of us..

poorpigling

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Date: 3/22/13 11:05 PM

Quote: threaddy
I agree with PP ...just have a cute comeback..."lots of fat trying to grow up into muscle" or some such thing. I am not sure if a parent trying to shush up their child and hurrying off is any better is it? I am sure in the not too distant future some kid will say..."hey look at that ugly old lady, how come she has so many wrinkles?."Maybe I'll have to carry a dried up apple and say "not as bad as this!...look at it and say...hmm maybe worse....hey kid, wanna apple?"


Little do children know they too will be old , ugly, and wrinkled when they get old.. Karma is a b......
ryan's mom
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Date: 3/22/13 11:06 PM

Having at least one child who spoke whatever was on his mind when he was young, I assure you the parent is probably very embarrassed and hopes you didn't hear it. There have been a number of times when my son blurted out little things and I thought I'd die of embarrassment.

He always had little zingers like the one time when he loudly asked, "Mom! Why is that man so dark?!?!" Even now, he's almost 14 and I have to remind him to think before he speaks. He has a good heart and is kind, but quick with his words and sometimes things come out not like he intended them.

I think he once asked me why one man didn't have any legs. Again, I was very embarrassed because who knows why. Perhaps the reason is very painful to that man. I know these should be teaching moments, but when caught off guard sometimes the embarrassment factor kicks in and I just want to get the heck out of situation. Although I have always said something like, "You can't just say those things in public" with the reasons why.

Not to worry, he does the same thing with family too. Like the time when he was 4 and asked, "Mom, don't you need to buy these wipes to wipe my butt???" I'd swear everyone in the wholesale club heard him, and the only thing I wanted to do at that moment was disappear.

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Bert62
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Date: 3/23/13 0:51 AM

Thank you all for the wonderful posts. I feel better now.

I had very prim and proper parents. So, the lack of manners, taste and civility is hard for me to take. I'm a real square from another century. I guess I'm an old fogey who just isn't changing with the world. Too bad I can't buy my own island to escape to. Thanks, Bert

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