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Memory quilt
quiltingwolf
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quiltingwolf
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Date: 6/18/13 9:24 AM

Thought I would be staying away for a few days since the death of my daughters friend but you all are so comforting I can't bear to be away.

I'm thinking later in the summer of doing a memory quilt for his mother with pictures etc. My daughter has downloaded a lot of his facebook pictures etc. I was thinking of doing two of them, one for her and one for his mom. But I'm not sure about the timing for all this. Also he use to play around with writing songs and I thought maybe could embroider some lyrics on it also. I had thought of approaching her about doing some kind of t-shirt quilt. But don't feel the time is right for that to ask for his clothes and they might not be there later. He had given my daughter a rock tee of his last summer. She hasn't take it off since Sunday morning. I guess really couldn't do it until my daughter heals some. She can barely go out the front door as since they live right across the street she see his house. She went out with friends last night for a little while to get out and she came back in, in tears. She's going to try and go back to work today. I know it's going to be hard for her has she has to deal with the public.
-- Edited on 6/18/13 9:40 AM --
-- Edited on 6/18/13 9:40 AM --

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SouthernStitch
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In reply to quiltingwolf <<
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Date: 6/18/13 10:30 AM

I think a memory quilt is a lovely idea. You could talk to a relative if you know someone, and have them explain to his Mom what you're offering to do, if speaking to his Mom may be too difficult right now. You could also offer to help sort through his belongings whenever they are ready to do that. Sometimes it actually helps to have someone who is somewhat removed from the crises to help out with that type thing. And you could use that time to gently bring up the memory/tee shirt quilt idea. It's SO HARD for them to get rid of clothing and possesions, so it may make them really happy that you'll preserve this things that way.
Many times, they want to leave the room as it is for a time.
Really, ANY time is a good time for a memory quilt. It doesn't have to be right away, or even in the first year. I still need to do one for someone's family who died 2 years ago. I think they'll appreciate it whenever they receive it, no matter how late.

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quiltingwolf
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In reply to SouthernStitch <<


Date: 6/18/13 10:46 AM

Yeah I think I will wait a while. My daughter can't even say his name without bursting into tears. Plus better after all the first major holidays.

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Franksdottir

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Date: 6/18/13 11:19 AM

A memory quilt is a kind idea. I cannot really imagine how it must be for his family and your poor daughter. This is utterly tragic for everyone.

I wouldn't bring it up just yet with the parents, things must be too raw for them now. I would wait at least until after the funeral.

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quiltingwolf
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Date: 6/18/13 11:24 AM

Well I think will do the picture one. I want to get my daughter on board first. As she will have to watch me work on it. I would like her to work on it with me. As far as choosing photo's etc. And maybe get his brother involved. But It's definitely two raw now.

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Connie F
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Date: 6/18/13 11:53 AM

As some of you know I just lost my Daddy......My 9 year old nephew was my Daddy's best bud.....I am making him a memory quilt and giving to him at Christmas. I will use all of his cotton clothes including his Dickie pants. I am going to make it as a rag quilt so I can use the pants for the backing squares!This Christmas will be all about memories. I am making one for my sister's daughter for her to take when she goes to college this fall (we lost her Mom to colon cancer last March)
I have an idea for you for your daughter. My BESTEST friend had my hubby bring home one of my Daddy's shirts (without me knowing) and she made me a Teddy Bear out of his flannel shirt......we displayed it as his funeral......anyways, I am making those for all the brothers & sister and Grandkids for Christmas. I might make some different animals not quite sure yet. Decided to make them for Christmas because it is just to raw right now to cut into my Daddy's clothes. (It will be easier than making so many quilts, but everyone will have a piece of my Daddy)

I am so sorry for the pain your daughter is going through. I will say a prayer for God to comfort her, her friends, you and this young man's family.
-- Edited on 6/18/13 12:00 PM --

Franksdottir

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Date: 6/18/13 9:37 PM

This has been a hard time for you. I send you and the family my condolences.

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JanyceR
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In reply to quiltingwolf <<
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Date: 6/18/13 10:20 PM

I am sure the mother would very much appreciate a memory quilt. And there is no hurry at all, in fact, she will probably be able to appreciate it more after some time has passed.

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Connie F
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Date: 6/18/13 11:44 PM

Thank you!

NonieA1
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Date: 6/19/13 5:27 AM

My husband and I were in a long-term study of parents losing a child from cancer. It was found that after 3 years, most support is gone with the mentality of society "to get over it". To have the child remembered long past the poignant grief time is a gift long-remembered. A memory quilt will be a lasting gift with untold rewards for both you and the receiving family. God bless you for your endeavors.

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