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Message Board > Miscellaneous > Getting older ( Moderated by Deepika, EleanorSews, CynthiaSue)

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Getting older
Are strangers beginning to speak differently to you?
Vintage Joan
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Vintage Joan
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Date: 7/17/13 11:55 AM

I'm 59... I usually let my grey hair show now, so maybe this has something to do with it, but sometimes strangers I deal with in stores and so on speak to me differently -- as though being "old" had made me a bit simple or something. It's weird! I try not to overreact, but sometimes I feel like saying something. I'm not simple (not that it matters, but I'm working on an advanced degree), but I don't want to get all huffy and take it personally. Is there something a person can say when this happens, or should I just put it down to someone's misguided way of trying to be respectful?


-- Edited on 7/17/13 11:55 AM --

------
my shield and my very great reward ~ Gen. 15:1

Photo: A long time ago

PattiAnnJ
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PattiAnnJ
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Date: 7/17/13 12:12 PM

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

------
I dont give them Hell, I just tell the truth about them and they think its Hell. Harry Truman

"Improvise, adapt and overcome." - Clint Eastwood/Heartbreak Ridge

Vintage Joan
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Vintage Joan
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In reply to PattiAnnJ <<


Date: 7/17/13 12:28 PM

Quote:
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

I'm not sure how being talked to as though I'm simple is a gift horse.

------
my shield and my very great reward ~ Gen. 15:1

Photo: A long time ago

diane s
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diane s  Friend of PR
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Date: 7/17/13 12:35 PM

I let my hair grow out to it's natural grey, a couple of years ago when I was 53. I did feel sometimes my dealings with the public were different. I can't exactly say what it was, but it's been enough time, where either I don't notice anymore or don't care.

------
My grandmother taught me to sew when I was 10, and I've been sewing ever since.

path49
path49
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Date: 7/17/13 12:53 PM

I'm 63 & it seems like I get called "Honey" & "Sweetie" a lot the last few years.

A few months ago, a young man ( a customer at Hancocks...I work there) kept calling me "young lady"...& it was wearing REAL thin after a while. So, as nicely as I could, I told him that I'm NOT a young lady, I'm perfectly comfortable with my age, & I found his calling me that kind of condescending. He said that he thought older women were flattered by that! Not me....

JTink
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JTink
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Date: 7/17/13 1:21 PM

I have found more of a respectful tone happening with my 59 years. In my opinion, that's as it should be.

Path, I'm with you, I despise being called "young lady". I hated it when I was young and don't like it any better now.

If someone hints at my being "simple", I find a reason to start rattling off some sewing terms and adjustments...blows them away everytime

Longblades
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Date: 7/17/13 1:22 PM

LOL I'm finding mostly advantages. I stopped colouring my hair at age 45.5 and got my first senior's discount the very day of my 46th birthday. A bit of a shock but, heck, saved a whole dollar on my hamburger so I gladly took it. From then on my OH made me pay when we ate at Wendy's. And he's older. :)

I got way more compliments on my thick, naturally curly greying hair than I ever did on my thick, naturally curly dark brown hair.

I also attracted attention from much older men. Much older. One fellow who wanted to take me dancing was 80. LOL, did he think I was his age and remarkably fit for my age? Or what?

Now I'm quite grey, nearly all white. I notice people on a dog board I frequent sometimes rant about rudeness they encounter. Nobody tells me my dog is fat or thin or not a real Lab like these people report. I get questions but not out and out ridicule and argument and I attribute it to most of us having been taught to be polite to our elders, which they now think I am. Or maybe I'm just lucky and I meet a better class of people, who knows.

I really think it's mostly good. Officious people who think they know better than the rest of us simpletons are probably like that with everybody.

PattiAnnJ
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In reply to Vintage Joan <<
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Date: 7/17/13 1:26 PM

Take the complement and don't read more into it than that.

------
I dont give them Hell, I just tell the truth about them and they think its Hell. Harry Truman

"Improvise, adapt and overcome." - Clint Eastwood/Heartbreak Ridge

GwenH
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In reply to Vintage Joan <<
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Date: 7/17/13 1:36 PM

I think giving them the most erudite and complex response you can muster would be great to see. :)

While it hasn't happened to me yet, I've seen what your' talking about and I think it's insulting because it is treating someone like they have diminshed capacity. I find it insuilting too when anyone over , oh say, 35, is treated like they don't know how to use a computer or social media, or any of the things that everyone has been exposed to for years. Maybe there are some older people that stopped processing anything new twenty years ago, but they are the exception I think. To me that is what treating someone in simple mode implies.

Since slapping someone silly is not socially acceptable, I'd go for the response that kindly attempts to cure the person of their misperception.

-- Edited on 7/17/13 8:07 PM --

poorpigling

poorpigling
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Date: 7/17/13 1:46 PM

How about this reply... '' I realize young man. or young woman if that is the case.. that I am older, wiser and more experienced than you.. but I find your language inappropriate and lacking in substance.. perhaps you a bit more upper education might be in your best interest.. ''

That should do it.. :hug

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