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Forum > Miscellaneous > Any other long term unemployed? ( Moderated by Deepika, EleanorSews, CynthiaSue)

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Any other long term unemployed?
How do you stay motivated?
determined
determined
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Date: 9/6/13 9:57 PM

I was working as a full time consultant, but had to stop when my daughter was born. That was one year ago. I thought they would take me back right away- but that didn't materialize- and everything else has fallen through. Have been close to getting a job for awhile- but afraid of more disappointments.

I feel like I have lost any drive to get out there and network- and at the same time, I am depressed and panicked over our finances. The only positive is that it is pushing me to learn how to sew clothes for myself- but that isn't going to pay any bills.

Just wondering how others who have been, or who are in this situation keep their motivation up.

Thanks!

tlmck3
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tlmck3
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Date: 9/6/13 11:23 PM

It's really hard, I know. Here are some things I did to get back into the work world:

Volunteered--it helped to have a place to go and be productive with other people.

I did an internship for a few days a week that gave me something, anything to put on a resume and got me back into the swing of an office routine. I had hoped to pick up some valuable grant-writing skills but that didn't really happen, unfortunately.

I took a part time job that paid little but kept me working and gave me another resume filler.

I'm starting a full time job on September 16th. It's not an ideal job and it doesn't pay very much but it's in a good company where there is room to advance. They are aware that I am overqualified for the position I am taking and will probably not stay in it for long. It helps that the hiring decision was made partly by an old friend of mine, whose supervisor I used to be, years and years ago.

I hate "networking" so I totally understand your frustration and lack of motivation.

Good luck!

------
I am going for a level of perfection that is only mine... Most of the pleasure is in getting that last little piece perfect...Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just keep showing up and doing the work.

Chuck Close, painter, printmaker, photographer

Hope has two lovely daughters: Anger and Courage

St. Augustine

petro
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Date: 9/7/13 1:48 AM

One of my children has just come out of a two year stint withut a 'proper' job. Its pretty common with the unemployment situation as it is, and current company policies. During the search she did many stretches of temp work. It is a demoralising situation.

Andi
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Date: 9/7/13 7:44 AM

I feel for you...my DH has been out 2x in the last 15 years, once for a year, and once for 2 years. Our limiting factor was not wanting to move, and are area not having many jobs in DH's field. That said, he was never a "networker" and was a bit shy. A friend really told him he needed to get out and do it, even tho he hated it. Somewhere he heard/read that you need to make something like 15 contacts/week, and then follow up on all the connections/suggestions you get. He really used that 15 contact/week as a way to keep himself going. "looking for a job" is such a vague concept, it is easy to feel frustrated and down. And then when you are down, you are sub consciously less appealing to the people you meet.

Another thing he did is to look at every contact, not just as a potential lead to a job for him, but that he might be able to help the person he was connecting with. He would always ask if he could help them with a need by connecting them to someone he knew. There were many times where the person was looking for someone with a different skill set than my DH, and he was able to help others land jobs.

Lastly, he has kept networking , not as many contacts/week, but he tries to make 10-20 new contacts every quarter, and any time someone asks to meet with him, who ever they are, he meets with them. A way to thank those that helped you, and pay it forward, but also very practical, since the market is constantly changing, and you never know when you will be out again!

Keep it up! Try to eat well and exercise so you can stay positive and keep reminding yourself that you ahve a lot to offer. Even if you are in a less than ideal job, there are skills you can acquire/improve.

One of my favorite folk songs ..
Just keep going on,
Take every knock as a boost. And every stumbling block as a stepping stone. Lift up your head and hold your own. Just keep going on.

JTink
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In reply to determined <<
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Date: 9/7/13 8:34 AM

Add my vote to "volunteering". Getting out of the house and staying active in the public eye, is a good thing. When I was between jobs(and I'm talking 35 years ago, before I had children), I joined up with a Temp agency. The ones I used were Kelly Girl's and Manpower. I was kept busy and was able to get into companies that you could only dream of. I filled in when folks went on Vacations or sick leave. If you have a child, temp work could be more of a challenge. You could get a call at 10:00 in the morning to report to work somewhere.

By choice, I did my temp work for about a year. I had been offered full time in several locations, but was planning on getting pregnant and was not going to work after the baby came. One of my "temp" jobs went on for about 6 months and they wanted to hire me full time. At that point I was pregnant. They even offered to set up a nursery in the building, if I came back to work I stayed with that company until close to delivery. I had two sons and was a stay at home Mom.

When the kids were in school, I joined a neighbor who started a gift basket company. As the kids had longer school days, I went to work with Keebler and then Nabisco. All of these jobs were part time and for fun. While I was working these jobs, I got other job offers. It pays to be "out there" where you can be seen.

Husband retired at age 50. He created his own company, started putting out his resume and touching base with "head hunters" right away. He was young and had a skill he enjoyed using. He was employed within a few months. Some of the jobs took him out of State for the week. At 66, he is working locally as a private contractor, consulting part-time with a large company...as soon as one project is done, another department in the company asks him to stay and help with something they are working on. He loves what he does and it's part-time.

I know this is long and drawn out...but bottom line, if you have to work and leave baby... stay active. Get out of the house, Talk to everyone! Keep all your options open, and always dress to the 9's.

PattiAnnJ
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Date: 9/7/13 10:24 AM

Volunteering may be the key to getting back your motivation. You will meet new people, some of which will be volunteers who are employed and may have some employment ideas you have not thought of.

Sometimes we have to switch courses to find success.

------
"Improvise, adapt and overcome." - Clint Eastwood/Heartbreak Ridge

Doris W. in TN
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Date: 9/7/13 12:49 PM

Lots of good suggestions here already, so I will only offer this.... One thing I have observed over the decades is something my father always said, when I was young and starting out --- "It's not always what you know, but who you know."
I have seen that happen more often, than not.

Janie Viers
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Date: 9/7/13 5:22 PM

OH, PLEASE remember to be polite and pleasant no matter how you are treated during the search. Rmembetr that the ladder goes up and down and someone who is not "helping" may later help if they remember you as someone who was calm and understanding under pressure.

------
JanieV

determined
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Date: 9/7/13 11:25 PM

Thanks everyone for the ideas and encouragement.

Volunteering is a bit complicated for me because I consult for small non-profits. I have already done a silly amount of pro bono/volunteering over the last several years and it makes it that much harder for people to ever come around and hire me as a professional. It would have to be volunteering for a place I would never think of as a potential client. I was actually thinking to see about volunteering to do story telling at the library. I love to read stories to little kids. It is also a challenge to do with two pre-schoolers and a baby

I hate networking- but it is true that it is all about who you know. I have spent a great deal of time commenting on people's FB pages only to stay fresh in their minds so I don't feel too bad when I reach out to them for work (like I am currently doing). Unfortunately, the world I work in is very very small down here where I live and so I have very limited options. I have actually turned down work because people want me to work and then to pay me once they get some funding...

I realized tonight that I am actually also very bored. I am home all day every day with the exception of going shopping. I used to have the boys' gymnastics class twice a week where I socialized with the moms- but we had to stop that so now I don't go anywhere at all.

So- I will seek out some volunteering opportunities and see about getting some regular exercise. And hopefully this opportunity that has been stringing along for almost two months will finally come through.

determined
determined
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In reply to tlmck3 <<


Date: 9/7/13 11:28 PM

tlmck3- if you are still interested in learning about grant writing let me know. Have been doing it for 15 years. Would be happy to help you!

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