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Forum > Miscellaneous > Don't want to go to my grad ceremonies. ( Moderated by Deepika, EleanorSews, CynthiaSue)

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Don't want to go to my grad ceremonies.
LynnRowe
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LynnRowe  Friend of PR
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Date: 9/8/13 8:54 AM

I just recently finished a 2-year evenings/weekends executive program for a professional accounting designation (CPA-Canada), and on Friday evening our class all got together at one of our classmate's home for drinks and appys and to celebrate the fact that we all passed and earned our designations.

Afterwards driving home, I felt like that evening was the final chapter and the book was, for me, now closed.

It was 2 years of a lot of study and hard work, a lot of laughs and as many tears. It also includes the greatest personal loss I have ever suffered.

Lots of memories, good and bad. And I felt that I really wanted to just close the book right there. Done. I can pick my certificate up from the CPA office, rather than spend 6 hours waiting to trot across a stage to get it and all the posing for class photos and a formal dinner.

And last night I had bad dreams brought on by the group get-together sparking memories I would prefer not to be sparked.

So today I'm feeling my decision not to attend grad ceremonies, to just place this book back on the shelf and move on, is the right one.

Has anyone else felt the same way, or am I missing a point or two?

------
I heart Panzy, Pfaff Creative Performance, the sewing machine love of my life!
And Baby (Enlighten serger), Victor (BLCS), Rupert (Pfaff 2023-knits expert) Ash (B350SE-Artwork), Kee (B750QEE-Panzy's BFF), Georgie (B560-Kee's baby sister) and the Feather-Flock!

Most of all, I heart Woo (HimmyCat). Until we meet again, my beautiful little boy. I love you.

Addierecoy
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Date: 9/8/13 9:18 AM

Where I'm from it's actually odd for folks who graduate to actually attend the ceremony, especially if they are older, or have gone to school while working and having a family. It 's the degree that means something to them, not the ceremony.

I haven't managed to get my BA yet (I'm only 47 LOL), but I can't imagine going to a commencement ceremony. I'd feel silly in a cap and gown. Even my youngest sister who worked her way straight through from high school and graduated suma cum laude didn't attend hers.

Go if you want to, you're entitled, you worked hard. Don't if you don't want to, you're an adult, celebrate by doing something you really want to do. I really don't think you're missing much.

Miss Fairchild
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In reply to LynnRowe <<
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Date: 9/8/13 9:57 AM

there is no "point or two'' that you are missing. You are in a grieving state right now, per your reference about your ''greatest personal loss'' and to take on something that you have to wear your ''Sunday clothes'' for is not what you feel you can do. Am I right?

Pride yourself on your honesty and the fact that you can look deeper to find what you really want. No, don't go. You don't need the pomp and circumstance of a six hour ''let's gawk at the graduates'' period and treat yourself kindly.

------
"Play the cards you are dealt, but choose who is sitting at the table"..AARP magazine

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Changma
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In reply to LynnRowe <<
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Date: 9/8/13 10:04 AM

Lynn,
I got my BS in Elementary Ed. In 2005 and my masters in TESOL IN 2010 and I went to both graduations, and I'm heading toward 55 in a few months, so I am not young. Graduation for me wasn't a celebration of the end of something, but a new start, so maybe if you readjust your vision of it being a closing of memories good and bad, and look at it as the fresh beginning it is, you might change your mind. Myself, I'm glad I went, but do what will make you happy.

Maria

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In reply to LynnRowe <<
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Date: 9/8/13 10:18 AM

Myself.. I probably wouldn't go cuz I am lazy.. I doubt you have that excuse.. so you aren't gonna like this.. but....

Suck it up and go..

tourist
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Date: 9/8/13 10:24 AM

Lynn - my sister-in-law went to both her BA and MEd ceremonies and wouldn't have missed them for the world. My son, OTOH, skipped both of his (BA, MA) and feels no loss or regret. It is very personal and individual, so if you feel you have celebrated enough, it is enough. Throw your virtual mortar board in the air, give yourself a pat on the back and go buy yourself some nice fabric as a treat.

------
http://bgballroom.wordpress.com to follow the progress on my next ballgown.

anae
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In reply to LynnRowe <<
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Date: 9/8/13 10:56 AM

You know.....there is another way of approaching the graduation ceremony thing if you are truly undecided. Its to give yourself permission to go.......and give yourself permission to leave the event. You don't have to commit for the whole 6 hours. Give it a shot, see how it goes, and be kind to yourself.

KitnRose
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Subject: Dont want to go to my grad ceremonies. Date: 9/8/13 11:00 AM

I still moderately regret GOING to my graduations for all but grad school. College and high school were both more for my parents than myself. When I hit HS graduation I was DONE, done with the school system, done with my classmates, done with it all. I felt I'd already had my own closure and didn't want to spend hours upon hours sitting with people I barely knew and didn't care about just for some pomp and circumstance. I forgot to shake my principle's hand and lost my tassel and couldn't have cared less.

College was a bit different - I rushed through and, come end of my third year, was only two classes from graduation. I got the choice between walking with the class before me or coming back the next spring and marching with my class. I chose to walk early since I knew I'd be off and working in another state and it seemed ridiculous to return 5 months after leaving and all the hassle that'd involve. So I walked with the knowledge that it wasn't over yet and it felt so silly.

If you need the closure and it does anything for you then go but, if not, there's SO MANY better ways to spend the afternoon. Congrats on completing the course and treat yourself in whatever way you want. :)

------
Kit
"Never underestimate the power of the right dress!" - drsue
"Hyu gots to know how to sveet tok de costumers, dollink" - Girl Genius, 11-24-08

PattiAnnJ
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Subject: Dont want to go to my grad ceremonies. Date: 9/8/13 11:01 AM

If you don't go, you may later wish you had. If you do go and decide you don't like it, leave.

------
"Improvise, adapt and overcome." - Clint Eastwood/Heartbreak Ridge

Cat n Bull
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Date: 9/8/13 11:17 AM

I agree, what the ceremony means is a very personal thing.

Some people do value the experience of walking across the stage as the final leg of their journey to that degree.

Some people do not.

If you don't, there is nothing to feel bad about.

------
Cathryn

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