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Forum > Miscellaneous > Passive-Aggressive Coworkers ( Moderated by Deepika, EleanorSews, CynthiaSue)

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Passive-Aggressive Coworkers
And other fun work stories
Kim12469
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Kim12469
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Montana USA
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Date: 10/25/13 1:19 PM

I don't know if that's the right term exactly for it but I work with this woman who has this idea of how the job should be done. She is in the position same as me in different groups in the office. We share some responsibilities.

She has it in her head that she should answer my phone when I'm away from my desk. I've asked her not to nicely. She got all pissy saying what if someone calls and needs help. We are support for the office and field. She has a group and I have a group but if needed we help each other's group out. She is very old school "Secretary" no offense but we are more analyst/admin these days. She went and tattled on me to her boss...ugh! My boss is with me.

She feels like the mother hen to the whole office and is constantly worried about things. I mean I want to do a good job but I'm not going to grocery shop for the office supplies on my own time. She resents that I won't do that.

She lays major guilt trips on me about so many things. Today for example, I asked my boss to take this afternoon off because something came up I wanted to do for my DS. I went and told her and she said, "Well, I was going to take off, but I guess I will have to stay now." Nobody but her has mentioned that one of us needs to be here. Her excuse was what if someone needs mailing done or UPS. I told her I could come back after I took my DS where he needed to be to do that. She continued to say, no, it's ok....ugh. Plus, she has never told me about her planned days off. So I flat out asked her, how do we work this then if one of us needs to be here. Her response, "Well if you figure it out, you tell me!" what!

It's been one of those weeks with her! Thank god she is retiring soon...I am counting the days.

So anyone else have any coworker gripes? Crazy work stories? It's Friday....woot woot!

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http://kimsewsilly.blogspot.com/

purplebouquet
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purplebouquet
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Arkansas USA
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Date: 10/25/13 2:05 PM

It sounds as if you might want to ask a trained outsider, such as HR or personnel, to advise and counsel. Maybe establish some policy how to ask for time off.

You don't want your boss and you siding against another co-worker. But your boss might not be schooled how to intervene and resolve these inner-office conflicts. Hence, personnel department.

Hang in there!

Claudia

Kim12469
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Kim12469
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Montana USA
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In reply to purplebouquet <<


Date: 10/25/13 2:08 PM

We have different bosses in different departments. I'm following what my boss wants. She is making up her own rules.

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http://kimsewsilly.blogspot.com/

Vivienne
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Vivienne
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British Columbia CANADA
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Date: 10/25/13 2:14 PM

Oh my, I might be your co-worker

In my defense, some of those weird rules were made up by my former boss and I went through hell to make them work - it seems I may be having a hard time understanding things have changed.

Thanks for the reminder to roll with things a bit better.

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Cheap fabrics, like cheap shoes, are a false economy.

Vivienne
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Vivienne
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In reply to Kim12469 <<


Date: 10/25/13 2:19 PM

Quote: Kim12469
Plus, she has never told me about her planned days off. So I flat out asked her, how do we work this then if one of us needs to be here. Her response, "Well if you figure it out, you tell me!" what!

Share outlook calendars? Or maybe a google calendar even?

Or heck, a PAPER calendar?

And regarding taking the afternoon off for a family commitment -that is what leave time is for! It is not like you're trying to take care of family stuff on company time.

------
Cheap fabrics, like cheap shoes, are a false economy.

PattiAnnJ
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PattiAnnJ
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In reply to Kim12469 <<


Date: 10/25/13 2:35 PM

If your boss okay with your method, then he/she should speak with the other person's boss and tell the other person to back off and stay within her own team/group.

I always sent my calls to messages so no one else would be bothered by it ringing when I was away from my desk.

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I dont give them Hell, I just tell the truth about them and they think its Hell. Harry Truman

"Improvise, adapt and overcome." - Clint Eastwood/Heartbreak Ridge

a7yrstitch
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a7yrstitch  Friend of PR
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In reply to Kim12469 <<
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Date: 10/25/13 3:02 PM

I am an old school executive secretary/executive assistant. Don't lump her in with my crowd. I am not, btw, offended. I have worked with my fair share of doozies and can sympathize.
-- Edited on 10/25/13 4:17 PM --

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I have no idea what Apple thought I was saying so be a Peach and credit anything bizarre to auto correct.

mastdenman
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mastdenman  Friend of PR
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Date: 10/25/13 3:40 PM

So glad I don't have to deal with that any more. But when you leave your desk can you forward all your calls to voice mail so that it's not an issue?

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Marilyn

January 2009 to January 2010 81 yards out and 71yards in January 2010 to the present 106.7 yards out and 146.5 yards in. January 2011 to the present: 47 yards out and 69 yards in.

Pinkytoo
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Pinkytoo
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In reply to Kim12469 <<
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Date: 10/25/13 4:17 PM

Hey at least you have your boss' support - I once had a passive agressive boss! We would get our work done, which she insisted on "reviewing" before it went out, and then it would sit on her desk for days/weeks - of course it was OUR fault when those needing their stuff didn't get it in a timely manner. When she got mad at the powers that be above her, she would threaten to retire - which she of course never did.

Things went from uncomfortable to bad to intolerable when she gave me a bad review so she could get a bigger bonus (the bonus funds were a pool that was split between the division, and based on "merit"). She finally DID retire about 4 years after I left and believe me I never would have made it another 4 years....

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Sewing is my therapy!

Kim12469
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Kim12469
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Date: 10/25/13 4:41 PM

Great stories!

Like I said no offense to old school secretaries! It's just this job is more a combo analyst/admin. I think they want more of that for both groups but they haven't been able to because she is resistant to change. She has been threatening to retire for years and finally is going. I overheard her say she doesn't want to though. I think she wanted everyone to beg her to stay which they aren't doing.

I just hate guilt trips! She is trying to guilt me into the phone thing because people need help supposedly, and the time off thing, yet when I offered to come back in based on her reasoning she was staying, she wouldn't have it.

------
http://kimsewsilly.blogspot.com/

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