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Message Board > Miscellaneous > Guilt about not using my degree ( Moderated by Deepika, EleanorSews, CynthiaSue)

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Guilt about not using my degree
I want to sew for a living!!!
croglodyte
croglodyte
Beginner
OH USA
Member since 3/2/07
Posts: 355
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Date: 4/9/07 8:43 AM

I thought I would throw this out there because maybe some of you have experienced it.
I did a career change years back, leaving the corporate rat race which I hated, going back to get my MA in Speech Language Pathology as a "non-traditional" student - which is a nice way of saying "you are OLD"!!! (I was only 32 at the time!) I worked very hard to get this degree and made a lot of sacrifices. I was very driven and dedicated to my first few jobs. Long story short - many things happened, many things have changed, now I have a young son and I want to be able to do something from the home so I can BE home with him for these years that will fly by. I do home dec sewing, have been taking on projects, name is getting out there, I have an opportunity to work with an upholsterer and designer, etc. ....and I REALLY want to do this and ENJOY it! No job or career choice has made me as happy as this one! I have sewn for many years and always been arty and crafty. It appeals to both my creative and practical sensibilities and I love how people are so excited with the results and you have a tangible finsihed project - something to show for your work (unlike speech therapy where everything is always "in process").
The problem is that I FEEL REALLY GUILTY FOR NOT USING MY DEGREE and not WANTING to use my degree right now! I can't seem to shake it! All my friends say "who cares" - there are millions of folks who aren't doing what they studied for in college! I feel like I threw all that money (my own) down the drain!! I don't know. I guess this is yet another reinvention of myself for the circumstances -- and I really LIKE this reinvention! I will always keep my SLP license and do the continuing-ed, etc. I worked too hard not to.
My husband is supportive, we are middle class folk, getting by on his salary, clipping coupons and watching our pennies like everyone else. I know I just need to "get over it" and be grateful that I can do this. I'd really like to groom this into a bona-fide business (that will be another post!).
Thanks for "listening" to my ramblings! Anyone else been there/done that??? Any advice?!



Member since 12/31/69
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Date: 4/9/07 8:59 AM

I dislike WORK. And in my experience, as soon as someone starts paying me to do something, I am no longer doing it for the joy of doing it, but as a JOB.

For that reason, I refuse to take in any sewing for money. I sew for fun, and nothing ruins my fun faster than making it a job.

As far as career changes, few people have the same career for their entire life anymore, so go with the flow and take advantage of any opportunity that swings your way if you are so inclined.

Peggy L
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Peggy L  Friend of PR
Advanced
TN USA
Member since 4/8/02
Posts: 5086
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In reply to croglodyte


Date: 4/9/07 9:12 AM

My personal opinion is to do what brings you joy. You are right - your son will grow up quickly!!! If for some reason you do this and decide its "not for you", you will have your other career to fall back on.

------
www.thereisjoyadventures.blogspot.com

mastdenman
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mastdenman  Friend of PR
Intermediate
CA USA
Member since 1/12/04
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Date: 4/9/07 9:48 AM

I got my degree from the "school of education and psychology" at the school I attended. In one of the philosophy of education classes, which was a requirement, they said that the purpose of an education is to teach you to think. In this respect you use your education every day, because you have a masters and have learned to think better than the person without a masters.

Over the years I have realized that this is really true. The person who goes to school and gets a degree or an advanced degree, is able to better use the resources at hand, so in that respect you will use your masters every day of your life. So my response it, you are using your degree and will continue to use it.

------
Marilyn

January 2009 to January 2010 81 yards out and 71yards in January 2010 to the present 106.7 yards out and 146.5 yards in. January 2011 to the present: 47 yards out and 69 yards in.

Yestersew
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Yestersew
Expert/Couture
CO USA
Member since 6/15/04
Posts: 89
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In reply to croglodyte


Date: 4/9/07 10:17 AM

I've been down this same road. I have a B.A. in zoology and an M.S. in Natural History and Ecology. The B.A. was straigt forward-I sweat blood to get the M.S. It got me a job with the National Park Service, which, most of the time, I loved. ( one boss was a notable exception). Married another park ranger. Dual careers existed at the time, but were not encouraged. One transfer put us where I worked at a fabric store for almost 4 years. It closed and I started sewing for hire, then our son came along. I've done all kinds of sewing in 4 different places-alterations for stores, for private clients, dressmaking, a lot of drapes for a historic hotel and about everything else. I've not made a lot of money,( I haven't charged enough), but its been a nice supplement through the years. The bonus?--I made every school program, ball game, track meet and concert. My son seems happy, successful, will graduate from college next year, and is engaged.
You have your degree-no one can take that away from you. Its an insurance policy if you need to return to a more reliable and probably more profitable career. With your plan to keep up in your field, its always there. Enjoy the time with your son-it's priceless.

Yestersew
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Yestersew
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CO USA
Member since 6/15/04
Posts: 89
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In reply to croglodyte


Date: 4/9/07 10:18 AM

I've been down this same road. I have a B.A. in zoology and an M.S. in Natural History and Ecology. The B.A. was straigt forward-I sweat blood to get the M.S. It got me a job with the National Park Service, which, most of the time, I loved. ( one boss was a notable exception). Married another park ranger. Dual careers existed at the time, but were not encouraged. One transfer put us where I worked at a fabric store for almost 4 years. It closed and I started sewing for hire, then our son came along. I've done all kinds of sewing in 4 different places-alterations for stores, for private clients, dressmaking, a lot of drapes for a historic hotel and about everything else. I've not made a lot of money,( I haven't charged enough), but its been a nice supplement through the years. The bonus?--I made every school program, ball game, track meet and concert. My son seems happy, successful, will graduate from college next year, and is engaged.
You have your degree-no one can take that away from you. Its an insurance policy if you need to return to a more reliable and probably more profitable career. With your plan to keep up in your field, its always there. Enjoy the time with your son-it's priceless.

Ody
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Ody  Friend of PR
Intermediate
MO USA
Member since 12/6/03
Posts: 2549

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Date: 4/9/07 10:59 AM

Boy, there is a lot of good advice here. I agree with Jenny--I love to sew, but hate to do it for other people. I just did some embroidery for a friend on their business shirts as a favor. We traded out product for my efforts, but as I was doing it I said never again. I get so nervous if it is not perfect.

On the other hand---I talked my dh into not becoming a banker when he even had a great job with a future lined up, to become a nurseryman. That was his absolute passion, and today he is probably one of the best nurserymen within 100s if miles around, and loves his job.

Few people are fortunate enough to take the passion in their lives and turn it into a job. If you have considered all the pros and cons, go for it. Home dec can be very lucritive, but remember, if you are the creative type it also intails a lot of drudgey details and sometimes cranky, picky customers.

After all that thought process, if you still want to---go for it. You will never lose your education---your transcripts will still be there even if you die!!!

------
"Sewing should be fun; make it that way!" Margaret Islander
Flying through life by the seat of my pants and hoping I get my crotch curve right.
"No humiliation is too great for a well fitting pair of pants!" Heidi Cooper
J6500P,
J1600P
J3160DC
J350E
JCP1000
Pfaff C1100 Pro
Babylock Eclipse serger
My grandmother's Feather Weight

Rhonda in Montreal
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Rhonda in Montreal  Friend of PR
Advanced Beginner
QC CANADA
Member since 12/9/04
Posts: 2008
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Date: 4/9/07 11:02 AM

I'm at the tail-end of a generation when girls went to school to get an "MRS". In other words, to "catch a husband".
WHATEVER we later do with schooling, we have grown through our expanded experiences. Hopefully able to express our views. Knowing something (more) about the world. More open/able to listen and grasp.
A degree(s) is an "in" for work. But, even then, at the beginning, all you have proven is that you persisted and completed your task...
Life is too SHORT for guilt!! (Said by one who is learning...)
Rhonda

------
You are most welcome to visit us at:
www.rhotos-rag.blogspot.com/

smockinggrandma
smockinggrandma
Member since 1/30/06
Posts: 72
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Date: 4/9/07 11:12 AM

Life is too short to spend it doing something you are unhappy with. My DH retired a year ago from a job he hated. Life with him has been much easier since he is doing something he enjoys.



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Date: 4/9/07 11:20 AM

I don't have a college degree but did complete a number of college courses over the years. I am old enough to come from a generation that did not value a college education for women. We, after all, were supposed to marry, support our husbands emotionally and physically, and raise the children. I did all of that. I also have been divorced since 1975 and the better off for it. I have five children and all of them have college degrees and a few of them have advanced degrees and two of them have several advanced degrees. My only daughter (I have four sons) got a degree in Animal Husbandry from Texas A&M University. She is 42 years old and has never worked one day in any field that her degree prepared her for. She is a very artistically talented woman and artistic creativity is her interest and her passion. She just sold her business, a retail specialty store, and now plans to get an associates degree in Interior Design/Decoration and she and her husband plan to buy and flip houses in Austin, Texas, where they live. He already has a very successful career in home renovation/remodeling. I don't recall what his college degree is in but it isn't in what he does for a living and loves. They did flip a house several years ago and made a huge profit on it. This is a long story to tell you to follow your heart, your dreams, whatever you want to call it. Going to work every day to a job that you would much rather not be doing is putting too much unhappiness on yourself and that will carry over to your relationship with your husband and your son. You will never, ever regret the time you devote to raising your child. Put the guilt out of your mind and concentrate on your son and your husband. You will be happy that you did!

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