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Message Board > Plus Size Sewing > selfish sewer? ( Moderated by JEF)

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selfish sewer?
Is it selfish to sew mainly for your own wants/needs?
horseowner
horseowner
Intermediate
WA USA
Member since 1/1/10
Posts: 293
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Date: 4/14/10 9:10 PM

I have a problem sewing garments for myself when many other sewers are sewing for charity, for their family, etc--I am fortunate to be able to sew a few things for others, but I feel guilty(and upset sometimes with pattern/fit issues) sewing garments for myself...does anyone else feel this way sometimes? Jacki Jo

QuiltSewSewSue
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QuiltSewSewSue
Intermediate
AUSTRALIA
Member since 4/28/08
Posts: 3334
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In reply to horseowner


Date: 4/14/10 10:13 PM

If you are making clothes for yourself I don't see why you need to feel guilty.

If it does make you feel bad, pick one charity sewing project for the year and sew it as a background job, in between other projects.

Others who sew a lot for charity may have more time and less need to sew for themselves - it is never a good idea to compare.

Just sew and have fun!

------
Sue (Toowoomba Qld)
Love to sew....

http://quiltsewsewsue.blogspot.com/

MapleCandy3
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MapleCandy3
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ON CANADA
Member since 11/13/07
Posts: 264
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In reply to horseowner


Date: 4/14/10 10:22 PM

It takes me a very long time to sew things, and I'm in such need of clothes I feel that if I am sewing for someone else it's a HUGE sacrifice.

Last year I 'sacrificed' my time for a friend and made her a skirt. Although she loved it, she wouldn't wear it because it doesn't fit her as perfectly as RTW clothes! I'm a beginner and can't make perfectly fitting clothes and am ok with that - I wear whatever I make no matter what! But knowing that I could spend 20 hours on a project and the person not even wear it...not happening.

Do I feel guilty? Not at all! Guilt is a wasted emotion IMO. My hobbie is making ME clothes, not making clothes for others
-- Edited on 4/14/10 10:23 PM --

Kayseri
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Kayseri  Friend of PR
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NEW ZEALAND
Member since 4/21/09
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In reply to horseowner


Date: 4/14/10 10:28 PM

Yes & no. I sew primarily for myself with excursions into home dec. I love sewing for myself - feeding my clothes and creative addictions at the same time. But get no satisfaction from the home dec., its just hard work and I rarely get any buzz from the final project.

I always used to feel guilty buying something for the house when I could have made it - especially when money was short. But over the years I come to the conclusion that I just get grumpy, so I now limit myself to projects that actually interest me.

As for family - my guy lives in white tees & jeans with a sweater in winter - so little scope there. This year I've offered to make a silk tunic for his mum for formal outings. It will be my 1st foray into nice clothes for someone else and I'm hoping it will be a fun project.

I never feel guillty about not sewing for charity. Local charities frequently say that they would much rather get cash than objects they have to sell or store/transport. I'm keen for the charities to get on with the work they are trying to do, rather than needing to put extra effort into fund raising.

katlew03
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katlew03  Friend of PR
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In reply to horseowner


Date: 4/14/10 10:54 PM

I make things for others when I have the time and can afford the supplies. However, there have been many times when I have not participated in a project because I don't have time, money, or am not interested. I don't feel guilty. You can't do everything. If you can't make something, can you give a small contribution toward the cause? If not, then just think about doing something in the future when you have the time, skill, or money.

Sewing for others is often not appreciated because they have no idea of the time and money spent and equate it with a similar R/W item that is probably not at all comparable. I make clothes for DGD and she never complains. However, her mother will return any that don't fit just right -- but won't take the time to tell me when they need adjustments. There is no way I'd sew for her. I have spent hours making quilts for Christmas gifts only to have the recipients act like they were unwanted or tell me how to "improve" them. I tried to make my mother a dress one time -- never again. It's very difficult to fit others unless you sew professionally.

Don't feel like you have to sew for others. If you get the time, have the money, and perfect the fit of your own garments, then you might wish to attempt it. Otherwise, it is too frustrating.

------
Sewn in 2012: 176.212 yds.
2013 Goal: 400 yds (again)
Total sewn in 2013 -- 225.848 yds.
Total yards in inventory 1/1/14 -- 1752.5
Goal for 2014 -- 400 yards (for the third time)

Machines: Designer Diamond, #1+, H Class 100Q, and Viking 400 Serger: 936

KitnRose
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KitnRose
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TX USA
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Posts: 2074
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In reply to katlew03


Date: 4/14/10 11:29 PM

Quote: katlew03
I make things for others when I have the time and can afford the supplies. However, there have been many times when I have not participated in a project because I don't have time, money, or am not interested. I don't feel guilty. You can't do everything. If you can't make something, can you give a small contribution toward the cause? If not, then just think about doing something in the future when you have the time, skill, or money.



Sewing for others is often not appreciated because they have no idea of the time and money spent and equate it with a similar R/W item that is probably not at all comparable. I make clothes for DGD and she never complains. However, her mother will return any that don't fit just right -- but won't take the time to tell me when they need adjustments. There is no way I'd sew for her. I have spent hours making quilts for Christmas gifts only to have the recipients act like they were unwanted or tell me how to "improve" them. I tried to make my mother a dress one time -- never again. It's very difficult to fit others unless you sew professionally.



Don't feel like you have to sew for others. If you get the time, have the money, and perfect the fit of your own garments, then you might wish to attempt it. Otherwise, it is too frustrating.

What she said. Every. Last. Letter. of it.

It's so, so rare that I see a charity that wouldn't be just as much, if not better, served by just buying the item and giving it. Or, more accurately, buying three or five (or more!) of the item for the cost of what I would have spent making just one.

As for gifts - it's equally rare that I have someone on the list who'll appreciate what's made, who I can fit, and who likes what I like making (I HATE making purses with a fiery passion) and, inevitably, it's the gifts I attempt that I wind up grudging half way through and that's just not what I want to come through in the final project. So store bought. And if you buy from one of those places that supports small, local business or sources from well-paid women artisans from an impoverished country or from a place that donates to charity then, hey, two birds, one stone, and still time to make myself something to wear come Christmas.

Every so often I'll find something I want to make but don't want to keep afterwards (a large stuffed horse was one example) and if I know someone who'll appreciate it then I will make it - but that works because whether they like it or not I've enjoyed the process of making it so I can give it without any strings. That's rare though. I don't even sew for DH if I can help it. Instead I taught him to use the machine and that drastically cut down on requests to make things once he realized that it's not all that easy. I am doing mending right now but that's just 'cause we're poor grad students. Next year we'll help keep our local independent alteration and mending expert employed. Which, I'm sure, they'll appreciate. So win all around. :)

------
Kit
"Never underestimate the power of the right dress!" - drsue
"Hyu gots to know how to sveet tok de costumers, dollink" - Girl Genius, 11-24-08

frame
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frame
USA
Member since 2/19/04
Posts: 2618
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Date: 4/14/10 11:34 PM

I really feel that I must introduce you all to The Selfish Seamstress blog.

Don't let the name fool you, she appears to be a very kind and generous person. But don't tell her I said so.

------
"framed" was taken

petro
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petro  Friend of PR
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FRANCE
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Date: 4/15/10 2:54 AM

At the moment I sew for myself, one dd, occasionally dh. I certainly don't feel guilty. The dd I sew for is prepared to stick around for the inevitable fittings and decisions and discussions, or to find a garment she would like copying and the fabric she wants it in and the buttons etc to sew on it. I tried so many times to sew for the other dd , but it wasn't worth it. Just knowing something wasn't bought in a shop with an expensive price tag made it unworthy in her eyes. DH gets the stitching jobs he asks for done - usually making this or that bag or container or holster for this or that gadget or item, occasionally some kind of garment or garment adaptation. I see a lot of other people gifting their stitching, but I've never thought it was appreciated when I tried, so I gave up. Sewing something seems to invite condescension - hope that doesn't sound bitter. Sewing for myself I save on the budget and get enjoyment out of the whole process. People do look at what I've made and sometimes drop hints about liking one just like it etc, but I don't run with it. No-one expects an enthusiastic DIY carpenter or home improver to build their cupboards and shelves for free.

gabrielle

gabrielle
Beginner
WA USA
Member since 3/27/02
Posts: 1540
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Date: 4/15/10 3:01 AM

Between work and my family, most of my life is spent doing things for others. Consequently, I sew only for myself and feel no shame.I figure that doing something for myself now and then is sort of like excercise and eating right--it contributes to my overall health and effectiveness. Now how self-serving was that?

kkkkaty
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kkkkaty  Friend of PR
Intermediate
UT USA
Member since 12/7/05
Posts: 2566
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Date: 4/15/10 3:02 AM

I often sew for others, although it's commonly gift items for friends (like a purse), or clothes for children. I never sew for charity, although I could image maybe sewing turbans for cancer patients or something similar. The kind of charity "sewing" I see most of the time includes things like fleece blankets; that seems boring to me, and I don't do repetitious well.

I often get frustrated or discouraged with fit issues for myself, and that takes away some of the pleasure for me. I'd love to get over that but I think I anticipate feeling that way before I even start a project, and it might be holding me back from accomplishing more for myself.

------
Viking Lily 545
Viking Ruby
Bernina Activa 210
Brother 1034d

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