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Forum > Creative Sewing > Receiver didn't appreciate baby blanket ( Moderated by Lynnelle)

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Receiver didn't appreciate baby blanket
Am I being over sensitive?
mozeyrn
mozeyrn
Beginner
New Jersey USA
Member since 9/30/06
Posts: 164
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Date: 5/23/11 10:01 AM

I have posted questions about getting this baby blanket done for a friend's baby shower. The shower was yesterday and I still feel slighted/insulted. I worked tirelessly on this thing, included countless late nights, remeasuring to make sure the sizes were right for the multiple layers, used satin binding (which included another trip out to PA [45 minute drive] since the one package of 4 3/4 yards wasn't enough), worked right up until I left for the shower & didn't get as near a response as the other hand made item that was given to her by another person!
Am I just being whiny? I think I have realized there are people out there who prefer store bought to hand made & she is just one of them. I know the person who was writing out the list of who gave what wrote down that the blanket is handmade. I don't know why but the other blankets I've given I have gotten better thank yous. I didn't do it for the thank you but I guess I expected a different response.
I just needed to get that off my chest. Thank you for letting me vent. Maybe now I can get past it.

------
- Maureen.

Kenmore 26231 SM
White 2900 Serger
Brother 1250D Combo

mastdenman
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mastdenman  Friend of PR
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Subject: Receiver didnt appreciate baby blanket Date: 5/23/11 10:18 AM

She may just not be an overly verbal and gushy person. The feeling may be there but she just did not express it. On the other hand, she may just not appreciate the time and effort that goes into a custom blanket. If it would have been a person who prefers purchased, they would have gotten purchased from me. It's just not worth wasting my time and effort. It saves me time and saves my feelings too.

-- Edited on 5/23/11 10:20 AM --

------
Marilyn

January 2009 to January 2010 81 yards out and 71yards in January 2010 to the present 106.7 yards out and 146.5 yards in. January 2011 to the present: 47 yards out and 69 yards in.

dfr2010
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dfr2010  Friend of PR
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Subject: Receiver didnt appreciate baby blanket Date: 5/23/11 10:45 AM

Sometimes the phrase "custom and unique" gets a better response than "handmade". (*shrug*) Then there's always the fact that some folks are just naturally the south end of a northbound donkey ... perhaps a $3 blankie from WalMart would be more appreciated by that type next time around.

Maybe I should get another cup of coffee too ... But I do completely understand your crankiness.

------
I don't really make mistakes ... I create "learning opportunities"! Murphy says: The better you match the thread to the fabric, the more likely you will need to rip some stitches out! I spend more quality time with my seamripper than I like ...
Yes, I DO love fabric!!
Happy owner of a band of Brothers: LX-3125, CS-770, CE5500 PRW, a PE-770 emb ... and now Kenmore 158.18032 and 148.12190
Blogging my "learning opportunites" at http://sewingmissadventure.blogspot.com/

M.S.
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M.S.
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Subject: Receiver didnt appreciate baby blanket Date: 5/23/11 10:52 AM

Wait until she washes those store bought ones a few times. She'll then realize the quality of hand made!! Keep your chin up!

EveS
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EveS
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In reply to mozeyrn
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Date: 5/23/11 10:53 AM

Quote: mozeyrn
I don't know why but the other blankets I've given I have gotten better thank yous. I didn't do it for the thank you but I guess I expected a different response.

Ok, don't take this wrong, but first of all I think you need to be honest with yourself about this. Those back-to-back statements are pretty contradictory. I'm not saying you are wrong to feel the way you do, so please don't take it that way. We all take such pride in our work (rightfully so) that it's difficult to not get hurt when they don't get the response we hope for.

Some people DON'T express themselves as well as others, especially when they're in groups or in the spotlight, so to speak. And some people are overwhelmed by the sheer number of gifts given at a shower and it becomes an assembly line of open-"Thank you"-next present, please. Sad, but true.

Other people (a LOT of people) don't truly appreciate the work, time, and thought that go into a handmade gift. Like the Marilyn noted, those people don't get handmade gifts from me. My very limited sewing time is too precious for that. Call me selfish, but I'm just being honest. If you'd be more delighted with store bought, great...of to sew for me, then!

I think making gifts for people requires a thick skin (and no, I don't always have that, esp. when it comes to things I've made...it's my perfectionist nature) I've had very mixed reactions from my gifts and, like you, I spend a LOT of time and effort making them "perfect." I made a niece (7 yrs old at the time) a wool coat for Christmas one year. It was one of my best-constructed garments ever, I personally loved it, and it even won me a PR contest. She refused to even try it on and was quite unpleasant about the entire thing. Apparently her usually girlie self wanted toys and only toys. Broke my heart. My sister initially said she wanted to keep the coat anyway but I ended up asking for it back and gave the niece a gift card instead. I refused to have a perfectly good coat sit unworn in a closet for no reason and then given to Goodwill in a few years. I gave it to my SIL (with 2 girls) who genuinely appreciates handsewn garments. At the end of the day, the whole thing shattered my fragile little ego...publicly...and I wanted to crawl under a rock, so my niece has seen her last handmade gift. I've moved on, but I did learn a valuable (if not painful) lesson: If you might get hurt by the reaction to your handsewn gifts, it's better to just hit Nordstrom's, and save yourself the heartache. You just never know...


Eve

------
People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it - Chinese proverb

Vintage Joan
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Vintage Joan
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In reply to mozeyrn


Date: 5/23/11 10:56 AM

She probably just has no concept of what it takes to make a handmade blanket. I know I don't. Of course, explaining it to her now would be kind of like saying "please acknowledge me!"... so it's probably best to just put this one down to a life lesson. In these days of mass-produced everything, some things are just not valued the way they would have been. I can also imagine these days if someone spent hours making a homemade cake, most people would go for the fluffy store-baked cake -- we've lost the sense of what "real" stuff should be like.


------
my shield and my very great reward ~ Gen. 15:1

EveS
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EveS
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Date: 5/23/11 10:57 AM

Lol...hey, thanks for the impromptu therapy session, guys! I think that's the first time I've confessed that here. I never had a photo of said coat on a person (which I ALWAYS have) because she refused to put it on even for a 30-second photo shoot. So there you have it.... Big, fat gift FAIL. lol

------
People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it - Chinese proverb

JennaF
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JennaF
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Washington USA
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Date: 5/23/11 10:58 AM

I'm sorry you got a disappointing reaction. It is ALWAYS hard when a gift doesn't go over as well as you hope, but when you poured your blood, sweat & tears into it...well, it puts it on a whole new level.

I've found 2 reactions to my sewing (from non-sewists)
Utter amazement at the simplest thing--they don't know how simple some techniques are

Under appreciation-they just don't know how truly challenging some techniques are.

Mostly, people fall under the "utter amazement" category, but I haven't really given many things out as gifts.

------
http://www.seamstressintraining.blogspot.com

Vintage Joan
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Vintage Joan
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In reply to EveS


Date: 5/23/11 11:03 AM

Quote:
I've had very mixed reactions from my gifts and, like you, I spend a LOT of time and effort making them "perfect."

I don't do this kind of thing often, but once I made my former niece (i.e. my kids' cousin) a hand-knitted dress for her first baby. My former niece barely noticed or acknowledged the dress (omigosh was it ever cute )... but her mother, my former SIL, apparently went gaga over it. Maybe partly because she's of my generation and knows it was a labor of love, not meant to look exactly like a store-bought item? Anyway, I was just pleased that SOMEONE got a big kick out of it. I won't be making too many handmade baby gifts again, except possibly from time to time if I have grandchildren of my own one day. And even then... there's no guarantee my kids will go gaga. They may just say, "that's cute" and put it away in the cupboard with the other baby stuff. I think the world has lost something precious in the last 20-30 years as we've become so used to inexpensively mass-produced items. We've lost touch with our "making stuff" roots.

-- Edited on 5/23/11 11:07 AM --

------
my shield and my very great reward ~ Gen. 15:1

Joni
Joni
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California USA
Member since 6/9/03
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Date: 5/23/11 11:19 AM

I enjoy making gifts but I've learned unless the recipient is very close to me to only make items that are quickly completed but still unique. Typically, I'll personalize a store-bought item with an embroidered name or monogram or sew a quickie in an unusual fabrication. I consider the time invested is primarily for my own pleasure, so there are no later regrets if the item isn't appreciated.

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