Member since 7/21/10
Date: 6/17/11 11:58 PM
After a lengthy afternoon shopping for dd and ds, I mentioned Mom could really use a bra as I only have two that fit...Oh, groan - you'd think I was forcing them to watch reruns of Gilligan's Island. So, off to the lingerie section of Sears.
Ds insists he will wait in the aisle. Can't be caught to close to that "stuff" in case the colours and shapes rob him of his teen coolness. Dd, on the other had, heads right for the torpedo styles, hands me one and says, "okay, you got it, let's go, I'm tired from all this shopping". May I mention, dd, that you have a whole new summer wardrobe and all Mom wants is a measly bra that fits?!
Despite dd's attempts at an intervention, I browse. I wonder how many women my age actually buy leapord print bras in a 46DDD? And matching THONG? I think if I put on a thong, I'd have to thing "oh where, oh where has the darn thing thong". Okay, enough of that....
You get the boxes. You know, the tried and true Wonderbra or Playtex, underwire of course, for the girls aren't exactly as perky as they used to be and head for the nearest fitting room. The attendant looks at you dubiously as they take the bras from the box, hand them to you, ask you if you need help (?) and then send you off to a fitting room.
You get into the fitting room, hearing little Davie from the next fitting room with his mother, complaining about how long she is taking. As you think, been there, done that, little Davie sticks his head under the changeroom wall and says, "Mommy, this ladies hooters are bigger than yours!" Well, thank God for small miracles. Had he said smaller, I think I would have demanded a recount on that vote!
Anyway, after Davie and his very embarassed mother leave, I continue trying to do up the back of the bra. All 15 hooks have to fit into the little untried clasps and nothing is jiving. First, it's crooked. Second, I miss hooks. Finally, I do the "grandma" and turn it around to hook it up. Yeah!
Now, I ease my ladies into the "cups". What the hell? No woman wears the Jane Russell look anymore! I felt like Madonna in that bra, pointing forward into a future of, well, pointing. And if you pushed the end of cup with your finger, there was a deflation...just like my spirit.
Off with that one. Next, the modest Playtex model, thicker straps given the weight of said "hooters" and we try again. Now, bras should be comfortable and not the equivalent of some medieval torture device. I swear I could not breathe. I mean, I know I am no longer my 23 y/o size 5, having graduated to a size 18, but sheesh...
Sales lady, sensing my frustration, knocks on the door and asks, "how are we doing?". I reply, "well, I don't know about you, but I can't find a darn bra that fits." She suggests a "fitting". I am not sure I can face that humiliation, but figure after having children, what more do I have to lose?
No offense to elderly matrons, but uber fitter comes in wearing support hose and I swear she was brandishing a crop, but put it down behind her. In her German accent (really, not kidding), she says, "vat do ve have here?". "Boobs" I reply, thinking reality bites, but whatever.
"I can see why you need a fitting." says she. "thanks", I reply. She whips out a measuring tape like nunchuks and zip/zap/zoom, I am measured at various points of interest. "I'll be back" she says in her best Arnold impression. Maybe that wasn't intentional.
She comes in with two bras in her hand. One, I swear, could be a hammock for my kids between our maple trees. The other could have been used to weigh baby hippos. The embarassing part was getting them on in front of uber bra fitting lady then finding out = THEY FIT! Beautifully. They were comfy, didn't bind, didn't need spray foam at the end, didn't have shoulder straps that became elbow garters - they fit!
So for all of you who feel embarasseed about being measured for a new bra, but need help - go for it! It will be the best "pick me up" you've had in a long time!
Member since 11/21/09
|In reply to Sue Horvath <<
Date: 6/18/11 0:17 AM
I know just how you feel. I was in Dillards last fall with two grandchildren and wandered into the lingerrie dept where a sales woman talked me into getting fitted. I went from a 42C to a 40D. Who knew?
Last Saturday I tried on about 10 bras and finally gave up after the skin around my chest was red from all the twriling of said bars.
The bra I found at Dillards is $58 and I was trying to find something not so expensive. I think I did find one but was to tired from the whole experience that I left w/o buying it.
Member since 7/2/07
Date: 6/18/11 0:42 AM
@ Sue : You are lucky you found someone that cared about what they were doing, I think!
I went shopping for bras with my 20 year old daughter at Victoria's Secret. She is slender, about 120 lbs. and 5'6" but 32D or DD, depending on the bra.
The sales clerk directs her to a bra (the latest & greatest of course), daughter isn't sure she likes it, but THEN the clerk says they don't have her size, but why don't you try it on anyway?
Daughter refuses (politely, but says wtf after) and points out to the clerk why would she try on something she doesn't like in a size that won't fit?!
I took daughter to Nordstroms (nayy) and we found intelligent life and bras that fit.
The other time I was in VS, they wanted to sell me an extender for a bra that cost over $50!?! I said thank you but no.
Under B: 32.5
Member since 5/11/08
|In reply to Sue Horvath <<
Date: 6/18/11 1:25 AM
Sue, you are hilarious!
my blog: http://kf-biblioblog.blogspot.com/
Stylish 60- http://www.pinterest.com/maresea/style-evolution/
Member since 10/3/03
|In reply to Sue Horvath <<
Date: 6/18/11 2:24 AM
Thank you, Thank you for such a great laugh I'm 61 and remember very well a) shopping with DD's who once they had new clothes were bored by the fact that I would like to buy a new bra!
b) being the opposite (then) and an A cup would get the assistant from hell with big boobs who would look at me and shake her head, don't know if we have anything to fit you in stock!:biggrin: Mind you I still get "the look" but am now a B cup
Bruny Island Cheers
South Bruny Island, Tasmania
An island off an island off an island
Member since 6/23/04
Date: 6/18/11 3:04 AM
Hilarious Sue! Thanks for the laugh. Shopping with teenagers and having stray toddlers pop their head under the door makes life interesting.
Belinda. Melbourne, Australia
Member since 10/25/04
|In reply to Sue Horvath <<
Date: 6/18/11 3:37 AM
Thanks for the laugh
Glad you won't have to do this for a while
Vonne šOš Brisbane Australia
Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age and dreams are forever.
We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
Member since 6/24/07
Date: 6/18/11 3:53 AM
Haven't stopped laughing yet . Second paragraph .... oh yes, been there so many times. Dontcha know, Mum is the doormat, has no needs of her own, just lies there being grateful to be noticed and used.
And the bra fitter ..... are they the same the world over? Definitely not picked for glamour and dress sense. Mine, I still bless her, was so unbelievably short and dumpy and not 'fashion', didn't do measuring, just eyeballed, more or less level with the body parts in question. Now that's embarassing, I'd like to think my measurements have some mystique, but apparently they're all too obvious.
Member since 4/3/10
Date: 6/18/11 9:00 AM
Thanks for the morning entertainment! You are such a good story teller.
Ah yes, bra shopping. Only once I was measured at VS. The band of the bra they brought for me was so tight I had more back clevage than front clevage.
I rate a successful bra shopping trip right up there with finishing a marathon in the top 10. Woo Hoo Sue!
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Thomas Edison
"I not only use all the brains I have, but all I can borrow." Woodrow Wilson
North Carolina USA
Member since 7/1/08
Date: 6/18/11 2:45 PM
Good story well told with a happy ending.
Well-fitted bras are not quite as rare as unicorns, but, ...
Alas, one of my new ones that I thought fit properly (a Bali style I particularly like), is showing signs of engineering failure. The underwire is being bent out of shape.
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