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I am depressed
and really tired of being so!
marec
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marec  Friend of PR
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Date: 8/22/11 7:57 PM

I could put this in the Rants thread but it really deserves its own special place in the forums. I am depressed, and am getting tired of struggling to maintain my home, take care of my pets, be a good partner etc etc. You all know the symptoms.

I take an antidepressant, and have for years. I have chronic depression which is probably genetic, and exacerbated by a whole slew of crappy stuff in my personal history. I don't blame myself for feeling this way, but I am definitely having a hard time. So hard, in fact, that I have gone back to seeing my therapist, and that is a huge step for me.

I'm just putting it out there-I have not been very active here, and haven't really looked at the gallery much. I've also been a little bit pissy, and that makes me feel terrible.

------
my blog: http://kf-biblioblog.blogspot.com/
Sewing through my pattern stash-145
completed.

Miss Fairchild
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Miss Fairchild
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In reply to marec


Date: 8/22/11 8:02 PM

Marec, we all have peaks and valleys in our lives, and some of us haven't had the best of childhoods, families, etc. You might want to get some testing done; maybe your seratonin levels are low. I had this test done when I was feeling pretty crappy/pissy/yadda yadda, and it has helped tremendously to put me in a better place. One especially where I feel a little more control of my life.

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"Play the cards you are dealt, but choose who is sitting at the table"..AARP magazine

SEE MY ETSY SHOP HERE: http://www.etsy.com/shop/AuntMaymesAttic
My blog: http://auntmaymesattic.wordpress.com/

tlmck3
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tlmck3
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Illinois USA
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Date: 8/22/11 8:16 PM

It might be time to re-evaluate your medication regimen. Sometimes the anti-depressants just stop being effective. I also have a life-long mood disorder. I spent years and years trying different meds and finally am on a combination that has me doing better than I've ever done before. This is the longest I've ever gone without an episode of major depression and I am thankful every day. There are meds out there that can help and it's like a miracle when they do.

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I am going for a level of perfection that is only mine... Most of the pleasure is in getting that last little piece perfect...Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just keep showing up and doing the work.

Chuck Close, painter, printmaker, photographer

Hope has two lovely daughters: Anger and Courage

St. Augustine

rivergum
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rivergum
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Date: 8/22/11 8:18 PM

I have no words of advice, but some big hugs from me. It looks as if you are doing the right thing seeing your therapist again.

------
Taking in is happier than letting out.

Sydney, Australia

nicegirl
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nicegirl
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Date: 8/22/11 8:29 PM

Good for you for taking care of yourself by seeing your therapist again. As others have suggested, it is also worth scheduling a consult with your doctor to evaluate your meds. The anti-depressant "poop out" phenomenon is well-known. You are such a sweetheart and deserve to feel as good about yourself as you do for all of us here with your kind words!
-- Edited on 8/22/11 9:19 PM --

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http://theslapdashsewist.blogspot.com
=================
2007: purchased 115+, sewed 105+
So close to parity, yet so far

Trying again in 2008
Yards purchased: 133
Yards sewn: Somewhere around 95

2009? I give up

skae
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skae  Friend of PR
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In reply to marec


Date: 8/22/11 8:51 PM

Take care please!!!!!!!!!!

------
Ecclesiastes 11:7,8 Nothing on earth is more beautiful than the morning sun. Even if you live to a ripe old age, you should try to enjoy each day, because darkness will come and will last a long time. (CEV)

Eme
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Eme  Friend of PR
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Date: 8/22/11 8:57 PM

Good for you for seeing your therapist again! Third (fourth) suggestion for checking on your med effectiveness with your doctor...

What works for you when you are feeling this way? Scheduling some down time and maybe just some one-on-one time with a close friend? Take it easy and keep us posted - good for you for reaching out.

Sewing Joe
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Sewing Joe
Indiana USA
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Date: 8/22/11 9:14 PM

You should be very proud of yourself for having the courage to begin seeing your therapist. That is a hard decision to make. I've suffered with long bouts of depression off and on since I was an adolescent. It is crushing. You know it will get better eventually, but that's not much comfort while it's going on. Hang in there.

------
Joe in New Albany, iN

Franksdottir

Franksdottir  Friend of PR
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In reply to marec


Date: 8/22/11 10:28 PM

Marec,

I am in your exact position, except I am currently more-or-less even. But those of use who have severe clinical depression know that it ALWAYS comes back. If someone is not medicated correctly, it comes back WORSE.

And then, as the enzymes in our brains come back more-or-less into alignment, it gets better. But it always comes back. If something in your life has called it up, it comes back sooner.

I am glad you are seeing your therapist. Also, your family needs to help you too. I don't know your situation, but if you could hire someone who could help, even just occasionally, to keep up the house, that might make a difference. (Unless you're like me and cannot bear to have someone else in the house.) Ask a family member to help with the animals on a regular basis. If you have dogs, you could hire a high school kid who loves animals to walk them, bathe them, etc.

You say "partner," so I do not know if your partner is male or female, and it doesn't matter to me. So, talk with your DH or DW and arrange to have more take-out for dinners so it is not such a bother. Do the grocery shopping together, or ask your partner to do it every other week.

You will get better. But, if you could be less miserable in the meantime, it would be better and nicer not just for you, but for everyone else, too. It is hard to watch someone you love be so unhappy.

One other thing. If you have been on the same medicine for a long time it may have become less effective over time. I have a problem with this myself, so I have had to deal with it. According to my doctor (the psychiatrist) I am a "niche patient," because I have burned through so many of the standard meds. At the moment I am on three different anti-depressants, which sort of balance each other out. So it might help to ask about that.

Good luck, I know how hard this is.

------
Barb

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tourist  Friend of PR
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Date: 8/22/11 10:37 PM

"Love is better than anger, hope is better than fear, optimism is better than despair." Jack Layton, a well-loved national political party leader in Canada, who just died at age 61, wrote this in his last words to the country. I don't know if that is helpful, but can't hurt.

I have been watching TED and listening to some interesting podcasts and there is a lot of research that shows a) being "happy" isn't all it is cracked up to be and b) smiling and laughing really can make you feel more cheerful. So in conjunction with working with your therapist and checking your meds, I strongly suggest a solid regimen of comedy movies, cartoons and maybe the odd basketful of puppies.

I have had no experience with deep depression, but believe I have skated on the thin edge of it many, many times in my life. Remember we are here for you to rant or vent or whatever you need if we can be of help. Take GOOD care of yourself.

------
http://bgballroom.wordpress.com to follow the progress on my next ballgown.

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