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Forum > Bridal and Formalwear Sewing > How to choose a gown... ( Moderated by MissCelie)

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How to choose a gown...
when you're over 40 and have "wobbly bits"?
SquishSews
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SquishSews  Friend of PR
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Date: 9/26/12 11:13 PM

I posted a few days ago about the Harvey Berin 50s style dress... but now I am considering the big possibility that it's too young a style... Opinions??

As a reminder, this is the dress: Harvey Berin gown

I'll be 43, my second marriage and fiancÚ's first (he'll be 47).

I was thinking of looking for a teal/spring green satin for the underlay, cream lace for the overlay, and a deep teal for the accent... too girlish? I no longer have the great figure I took for granted in my 20s...
-- Edited on 9/26/12 11:14 PM --

Changma
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In reply to SquishSews <<
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Date: 9/27/12 0:04 AM

What looks good on you now? If you never go sleeveless, then you wouldn't be comfortable in a sleeveless dress. If you always feel divine in a full skirt, then your gown should have a full skirt. If you get compliments in teal, then wear it. You want a dress/gown you will feel fabulous in, not one you will be tugging at or changing haircolor to wear. Make it what you usually love, but more so...all the laces and beautiful fabrics and details that you love but maybe don't often wear. Look like the beautiful bride you want people to see, not the bride in the beautiful dress. And unless you are wearing little poufy sleeves, I doubt you need to worry about looking too young. I believe happiness takes about 10 years off our faces
Best wishes.

a7yrstitch
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Date: 9/27/12 0:32 AM

This is the ''first'' time you will be marrying your fiancÚ; the start of something new and wonderful. Everything will be a first for the two of you from now on. Congratulations!

Beautiful dress. Wondering how it might be to change the bows; perhaps one larger bow on the back in the spirit of a train or no bows on the dress and one on your bouquet.

The bows may be part of the design you find most appealing. In that case, keep the bows.

You should wear the dress you want to wear, you most likely cannot even imagine how beautiful you are to your fiancÚ and his family. And you should plan the wedding that you want too.

And for the jillianth time I will say that I love mature weddings!

Hugs and best wishes to all of you.

-- Edited on 10/1/12 11:38 AM --

------
I have no idea what Apple thought I was saying so be a Peach and credit anything bizarre to auto correct.

tourist
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Date: 9/27/12 0:35 AM

Squish - you know, the only thing I might change about that gown is to remove the bows. As Changma says, look at your arms and decide if practically sleeveless is the way you want to go. For many at 43, that is a non-issue, for some it is. We were at a wedding of a 50 year old who did not look in the rear mirror at how the back of a strapless gown might look on an older body and all I can say is I wish she had chosen a nice little bolero to go over it. The view from the pews was probably not what she was envisioning....

That is a lovely dress and the pattern someone else pointed you to is great. Have fun making your dress and congratulations!

------
http://bgballroom.wordpress.com to follow the progress on my next ballgown.

PattyE
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Date: 9/27/12 6:03 AM

Congratulations to you, and beautiful dress. I agree with tourist about the bows. When is the wedding?

sophielas
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Date: 9/27/12 6:17 AM

I think it's beautiful, and not too young at all. It's a very flattering shape. I would second the idea of perhaps losing the little bows on the trim if you want it to be less girlie. But that said, it's your wedding. If you want bows, you can have bows. You will look beautiful.

I think upper arms/back is always a potential danger area, on women of ALL ages. I have seen a lot of strapless dresses that just don't do the ladies justice. I think the style you've chosen avoids this issue completely.

I look forward to progress updates :)

Mel.J
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In reply to Changma <<
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Date: 9/27/12 7:13 AM

Quote: Changma
What looks good on you now? If you never go sleeveless, then you wouldn't be comfortable in a sleeveless dress.

I think it's a lovely dress, and in the greens/teals will be very elegant.
If you wanted to change it from sleeveless you could just make the lace sleeves a little longer - whatever suits you, really. It wouldn't take anything from the style.

------
Mel (Melbourne, Australia)

mmcp
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Date: 9/27/12 7:06 PM

You may want to go into a (preferably really, really expensive) store and try on a pile of dresses to see what makes you light up. Make it a day, take a friend, have them take photos. They don't have to be wedding gowns--cocktail dresses too, since the color doesn't matter. Then make a final decision about what you want to sew. That's what we've done in our family, then we make or thrift what we finally wear!

stirwatersblue
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Date: 9/27/12 11:17 PM

Oh, geez! Now I wish I'd never said "sweet" in that other thread! I feel like it made you have doubts about a very classic style that could easily be made *quite* sophisticated.

I would look for fabrics that are high-end, in warmer tones that complement your skintone, and keep the contrast between the fabrics to a minimum. Then to offset the lace and the poofy silhouette, I'd try a matte satin stole or bolero. Since you're making the gown, you have the opportunity to play up or down whatever features you want. And your fiance will think you're beautiful no matter what you wear.

I was at a gala a couple of weeks ago, and the hostess (in her later 40s/early 50s, at a guess) was wearing a black dress with a similar silhouette, with ruffles around the neckline and a poofy box-pleated skirt. She looked wonderful!! When I complimented her, she said she'd chosen it b/c the it was glamorous and appropriate for the event--but the silhouette was more forgiving for her figure ("can't do some of those styles anymore," I think were her exact words. Not that some of us have *ever* been able to do those styles! LOL).

You'll be beautiful!

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~Gem in the prairie

SquishSews
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In reply to Changma <<


Date: 9/27/12 11:26 PM

Changma, I frequently go sleeveless, but I know I could use some firming up. I'll be working on that hard this coming year, now that I'm recovered from my health issues and can workout again.

I hardly ever wear lace, though it's beautiful. I just tend to wear way more practical stuff...

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