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Forum > Miscellaneous > Ashamed of my Sewing (kind of) ( Moderated by Deepika, EleanorSews, CynthiaSue)

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Ashamed of my Sewing (kind of)
What Can This Dad say to His Sons ?
Bert62
Bert62  Friend of PR
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Indiana USA
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Date: 10/15/12 1:22 AM

I don't think I ever would have taken an interest in sewing if it weren't for my wife. But, I am artsy-craftsy. I am currently making tons of pieced xmas placemats and pillows. I just enjoy an opportunity to do something creative. However, it seems that whenever I am woking on the stuff mentioned above my kids come to see me, and I think it's kind of embarrassing for all of us. I'm not out in the garage doing something with tools or fixing the roof or the plumbing. I'm putting together "nelly" placemats and pillows on my Bernina 730 Record (the new love of my life). Do you think my macho soon-to-be-redneck boys will ever understand why I do what I do ? Thanks, Bert

Leslie in NZ
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Leslie in NZ
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Date: 10/15/12 2:07 AM

I think you are sending a very important message to your children, and that is - have the courage to pursue whatever takes your interest. It doesn't matter if it falls within the gender prescriptive hobbies/interests. It is valid to follow your interests wherever they may take you.

I am an almost 60 yo woman and I am getting into woodworking. There is a lot of gender prejudice that goes along with that!!

Be proud of who you are. Your kids will gain confidence from it!!

------
Leslie (Auckland, NZ)

Franksdottir

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Date: 10/15/12 3:22 AM

Bert,

If it is any help, my father was all thumbs, and it was my mother who did all the fixing jobs around our house. I was the one who taught my husband how to change a light socket, take out switches, put in washers, etc.

Would it help to tell your sons that in the Middle Ages the Knitters' Guild was all men? And that traditionally in Europe the weavers of the finest silks were all men? That there are a number of surgeons who do needlework in order to keep their hands supple?

These days there are some truly grotesque quilting fabrics. I made my DS (who was 21 on Wednesday) some pillowcases with skulls and other horrid things and he LOVES them. He does his own laundry, but I see his room which is across from ours, and he always has one of those pillowcases in use. I have some more nasty ones for him which I will get around to making one of these days. How about if you made each of them something horrible?

Friend: Hey, that is a cool pillowcase.
Son: Oh, yeah, thanks, my dad made it.
Friend: Your dad?
Son: Yeah, he sews.
Friend: How come my dad doesn't sew?

------
Barb

ryan's mom
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ryan's mom
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Date: 10/15/12 6:12 AM

They may never understand. My girls don't know why I love working with power tools almost as much as using my sewing machine. Currently I'm gathering my own materials to make my sewing desk. My girls neither understand the love I have for my sewing machine, nor the joy I feel when using my circular saw. And it is indeed MY circular saw! My husband is not into power tools lol.

------
Big 4 Pattern size 12, RTW bottom: 6, RTW jacket 8, RTW top (no size fits me well!)
Measurements: 34 HB/36 FB (34C bra)/27.5/36 (and working hard to keep it that way.)
Machines: Sewing: Elna 760, vintage Kenmore Model 33 (1967), Janome Gem Gold 3. Sergers: Babylock Imagine and Babylock Enlighten. Embroidery Only: Janome 300E. Coverstitch: Janome CP1000. Straight Stitch: Janome 1600P.

If you think your sewing is better than everyone else's around here, get out of my way b****. I hate sewing snobs.

My blog: www.phatchickdesigns.blogspot.com

KathySews
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Date: 10/15/12 7:34 AM

It is amazing how we grow but some things don't seem to change. A discouraging expression or comment, particularly from our kids, can be a gut punch.

Maybe grab a couple of beers or coffee and talk. Tell them how you got interested in sewing and ask them if your sewing bothers them. It may not bother them as much as you think and if it does they will have something to think about.

-- Edited on 10/15/12 7:35 AM --

sewingsilly
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Date: 10/15/12 7:36 AM

Being Creative isn't Male or Female it's a gift!! Look at it as such and be grateful for your talents. Love to see some pic's of the beauty you're creating with your "New Love".
BTW....Rosie Greer the rather large pro football player used to do needlepoint as a hobby. ;-)

------
strikesmyfancy-2013.blogspot.com

What's Meant for You Won't Pass You By.

Mary W
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Date: 10/15/12 7:44 AM

Any skill you can learn and do something creative and productive with is a good thing. Your son will probably realize this as he gets older and he will have you as a fine example. My father's family members were all employed in the garment industry where it was not unusual for men to sew. My father started to sew when he began to upholster. His father got him his first sewing machine.

blue mooney
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blue mooney
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Date: 10/15/12 8:32 AM

Bert, by being yourself you're encouraging your kids to be themselves, too. That will make them happier people in the end. So do what you want to do - you're being a good parent, showing them that personal satisfaction is more important than looking cool to others.

eta: I think when your sons are mature, they will understand.
-- Edited on 10/15/12 8:34 AM --

------
--Robyn
sewing blog: http://bluemooney.wordpress.com/
illustration blog: http://storybooky.wordpress.com/

quiltingwolf
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Date: 10/15/12 9:07 AM

Life is too short. So do what you love regardless of what anyone thinks of it. Children included. Explain to them that you enjoy it's helps keeps stress and other bad things away and that's why you do it. I think they will come out a lot better growing up with a father who sews as then let's say an alcoholic etc.

------
quiltingwolf.blogspot.com

gramma b
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Date: 10/15/12 9:22 AM

If they are young, one thing you can do is have them draw their favorite monster or whatever--copy it into a doll. Ugly dolls make great sleeping buddies for little boys, look for ideas on Etsy.

If they are older, save their sports T's for a future quilt. My sons took theirs off to college. They both had to take a semester of home ec. in jr. high, so now they cook, sew buttons, repair jeans, and even sew on their daughters' doll heads/limbs.

You can also re-purpose their T's into something funky that the other boys won't have. There are library books on this and lots of online ideas free. Or surprise them with pair of PJ pants for Christmas with a sport or animal print--whatever they're into.

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