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Forum > Fashion Styles and Trends > Sexy vs Stylish ( Moderated by Lynnelle)

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Sexy vs Stylish
How do you define your fashion statement? Do you care?
KateLoom
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KateLoom  Friend of PR
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Date: 4/20/13 3:55 PM

Not long ago, when my step-daughter not-too-diplomatically asked why I didn't care about looking "sexy for my husband," I had to refrain myself. I honestly don't think I have EVER thought about trying to look sexy, at age 18 or age 60. I have always worn what I have wanted to, and if it happened to elicit a shwing from the other side of the fence, that was just a happy coincidence. And I was always happy.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the question of looking sexy versus stylish. I don't want to be perceived as someone who has lost interest in my appearance. A friend of mine recently used the unkind term "hysterectomy chic" to refer to women who "no longer care." Ouch.

Just wondering what other women in their 50s+ think about this issue. If hubby was suddenly swallowed up by a sink hole, I wouldn't be on match.com any time soon. I think I'd be more like Jessica Fletcher in Murder She Wrote. She always had guys hanging around, but mostly to enjoy her pie...or her private i-ntelligence.
-- Edited on 4/20/13 5:16 PM --

marec
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Date: 4/20/13 4:28 PM

I have never dressed sexy either. Well, at least in public.

It's a good question. Your stepdaughter probably is trying to figure out what attracts someone and she hasn't discovered that sex appeal comes from within.

When I am happy and content, I feel open to others. That's sexy. I can be wearing jeans, or a short skirt, or a great outfit sewn by me...doesn't matter.

Even when I was younger, I was more a pal than a lover...I'm just an outdoorsy kind of person.

------
my blog: http://kf-biblioblog.blogspot.com/
Sewing through my pattern stash-145
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JTink
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Date: 4/20/13 4:41 PM

Well I dressed "sexy" for a while, but then it got real old...and so did I I've had breast cancer, retired, gone through menopause and pushing 59. I'm done with "sexy" and the last thing I want, is to give my husband any come hither signals I'd rather be sewing.

Comfort is a good thing.

EleanorSews
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Date: 4/20/13 5:02 PM

As an almost 64 yr old widow, sexy does not top my list when I am thinking about what to wear. I want to look nice, pulled together and be comfortable in whatever activity is at hand.

The funny thing is that sexy is not always about how much skin one shows or what parts of the anatomy are emphasized by one's clothing. It has more to do with the person and how someone else responds to who and what the person is.

------
"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." Anais Nin

"Attitude is the difference between an adventure and an ordeal." unknown

KateLoom
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In reply to marec <<
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Date: 4/20/13 7:00 PM

I hear you! I'm self employed with a home office, and rarely have to interact with clients face-to-face although occasionally I have to suit up. My beloved Newfie had to be put down 18 months ago and my spouse chose not to be with me when it happened. Maybe he couldn't handle it. When you have a wonderful slobbering dog who keeps you honest, you wear sweats or jogging clothes that can easily be laundered. I got so used to our life together that after I had to move on without her, I couldn't bring myself to change the way I lived or dressed. I buried her with my Norma Kamali cargo pants.

Oh well. I'm rambling because it's Saturday and I should be sewing or doing something else.

marymary86
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Date: 4/20/13 7:56 PM

I think a lot of us think looking sexy means looking trashy.

I guess it's how you define sexy. I'm outdoorsy too but I can still choose jeans that flatter and wear a top that hugs the right places. As long as I keep stopping DH's heart, I'm good!!

I'm modest so I don't show cleavage (unless it's just DH and me over a cozy dinner at home). I wear longer skirts and I don't wear things skin tight. But I know (don't ask how oO) that I can still look sexy. Makeup and hair go a long way too.

Does that make sense?

------
Mary


BriarRose
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Date: 4/20/13 10:15 PM

When I retired from my job in a law firm, I threw out every pair of panyhose and heels I owned and gave away my legal assistant disguises in favor of whatever didn't itch, bind, or wrinkle. If I can't wear my jeans, frankly I think twice about going anywhere. ;)

That being said, I've been performing and/or teaching belly dance for thirty-five years. Sewing costumes for myself or others satisfies my desire for bling, luxurious fabrics, and interesting fashion.

I actually feel sexier in my jeans and tee shirts than I do in my costumes (now considerably more modest than when I started dancing and still had a waist). I am fortunate to be married to a fellow who thinks sexy means being willing to leave the make-up at home and get a little dirty riding horses or motorcycles.

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I've quit fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now.

It's just fabric; we can out-think it.

cherilindsey
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Date: 4/21/13 0:37 AM

I've found that at 61 I'm far more comfortable in my own skin than I was at 31 even though I dress for comfort instead of trying to turn DH's head. I've never been a "stylish" woman so I guess I can't speak to that. I do like to look nice when I'm in public but refuse to wear clothing that I can't sit or bend over in; that's not where I am in life. We do dog rescue so when I'm home I totally dress for comfort. Most everything I own is covered in dog hair on a daily basis no matter how much I vacuum and I wouldn't have it any other way.

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Babylock Ellisimo Gold
Babylock Evolution
Babylock Elizabeth
Brother Innov-is 1250D
Singer Fashion Mate 362
Singer Model 99

BriarRose
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Date: 4/21/13 2:43 AM

I've often contemplated how to turn random animal hair into a fashion statement. We have four dogs, five cats, and two horses.
-- Edited on 4/21/13 2:44 AM --

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I've quit fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now.

It's just fabric; we can out-think it.

petro
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Date: 4/21/13 3:36 AM

'hysterectomy chic' - I'm going to adopt that term.Yes, I've had the op, and at my age if I dressed 'sexy", it would look pretty inappropriate. I go for comfortably slobby in private and as neat as possible in public.


-- Edited on 4/21/13 3:20 PM --

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