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Forum > Quilters' Corner > Memory quilt for a still born baby ( Moderated by Sharon1952)

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Memory quilt for a still born baby
Small and quick project please
Michelle T

Michelle T
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Date: 1/6/14 9:41 PM

A lovely lady I know going to have a still born baby within the week. She is only about 25 weeks pregnant and they know the baby cannot make it. No amount of prayer or medical intervention can save this much loved and wanted baby.

The baby will be very small and I want to give her a mini quilt to be buried with.

I do not have a lot of time. I need suggestions on how big to make such a quilt. I am thinking very thin, or flannel for the batting.

Suggestions?

------
Proud parent of a Dwight International School Honour Roll Student

Skye
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Skye  Friend of PR
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In reply to Michelle T <<
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Date: 1/6/14 10:07 PM

I make quilts for stillborn babies. The sizes vary 16" to 24" square. I often use cute fabric and polar fleece backing which makes a cuddly quilt. I just freemotion quilt them. Other times I have used flannel with very light weight batting.
I think that it is a lovely thing to do for your friend.

------
Wellington, NZ

TessKwiltz
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In reply to Michelle T <<
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Date: 1/6/14 10:13 PM

How sad and so thoughtful of you to do this for the parents. A simple panel if you have any in your stash or time to shop, otherwise any pretty fabric can make a lovely whole cloth quilt. Or pieced with very large squares. I would do a pillowcase method rather than binding for speed

------
Tess

On threadpainting flowers: "How many colors are in a flower? ... How many do you have?" - Ellen Anne Eddy

motivatedcreativity
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Date: 1/6/14 10:51 PM

I make quilts and diapers for still born babies. If you go to the
Teeny Tears Diapers website you will see the kind of things people are doing for these little ones. For the diapers, you make two and one is put on the baby and the other one is given to the parents for a memory box for the baby. Quilt measurements are given along with a pattern for the diapers if you so choose.
This will be such a difficult time for so many people and it helps to know that they do not grieve alone. Hope this helps.
Bless you Michelle
Gloria

ElaineSweet
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Date: 1/7/14 0:22 AM

An old friend of mine works with parents who have lost babies. She talks about all the nice things they do for the baby and parents. My son had a still born baby and I checked with them to see if they wanted photos, reminders, etc and they absolutely did NOT. They thought the whole idea was bizarre. So maybe check and make the offer before committing any time into it? Just another perspective.

wendyrb
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Date: 1/7/14 0:39 AM

I am deeply sorry for your friend's sad news. The loss of a baby, even an unseen one, is devastating. The more varied perspectives and gentle choices we have now are way better than how things used to be. Discussing such a death in the family was a taboo topic. Some will take comfort in the attention offered and others may need privacy to grieve. Or, one can be so heartsick that the possibility of feeling better is unimaginable. You have my condolences.

------
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. Andy Rooney

Pfonzie- my honey Pfaff Creative Performance, Bernina 930 and 830, Evolution serger.

Michelle T

Michelle T
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Date: 1/7/14 0:54 AM

Thank you for the suggestions.

I went through my stash and found a lovely cotton print butterflies and fairies. I had a piece of pink minkee for the back.

I had not thought about a diaper for the baby, I will check out the mentioned site for a pattern.

She and I are talking daily. Today it broke my heart when she asked me to hold her belly for a moment. It is such a difficult situation and she works in the public eye. I am one of the few people outside her immediate family that she can talk to about her feelings knowing I am giving her my full support.

My mother was in a similar situation with her first baby 50 years ago. Mum says the worst was that people did not acknowledge her loss.

------
Proud parent of a Dwight International School Honour Roll Student

Maia B
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Date: 1/7/14 0:55 AM

I've been a perinatal nurse for almost 18 years, and served on the grief and loss committees of some of the units I've worked on. Many families that don't initially want the mementos we collect at the time of birth (footprints, photos done with consideration to the condition of the body-sometimes black and white only, sometimes with only a tiny hand or foot showing), want them later. There's often a sense of unreality with the loss of a baby that no one else ever knew.

If the parents allow it, we often take pictures with their wedding rings around the wrist or ankle of living preemies. For the ones that survive, it's an amazing testament to their growth. For the ones that don't, I think it helps them remember just how tiny that little one was.

Every parent grieves and copes differently. Most do really appreciate when others acknowledge their loss. Of course, it's important to respect individual and cultural differences.

For a 25 weeker, something small, like 18-24" square, double-sided flannel turned inside out. Maybe later a little matching bag embroidered with the name (if they name the baby) and date of birth, to hold the keepsakes.

Bless you for wanting to do something kind and comforting for people suffering a terrible, awful loss.

------
🌸 Plenty of machines, mostly Berninas 🌸

Red Dragon
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Date: 1/7/14 3:53 AM

My local quilting group makes these for the local hospitals. They are usually about 22", no batting, usually backed with flannelette. The blanket itself often stays with the baby, but there is also a matching 6" square as a memento for the parents. My MIL lost her first daughter at about 20 weeks, so this is something she does with love; this was back when you didn't get to see or hold them, so she feels strongly that parents should have something positive and loving from their experience. Best wishes for your friend, its lovely that you want to do this for her.

------
Tracy, Canberra

Janome 7700QCP, Janome 4618QC, Husky S25 overlock/coverstitch

Sandygirl
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Date: 1/7/14 7:55 AM

Heartbreaking. I can't imagine.

Sandy

------
Janome-gal. 9700, 9900, 1030, 11000D (serger)

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