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very, very long (Moderated by Deepika, EleanorSews)
Posted on: 8/20/07 9:40 AM ET
First off- no, I am not suicidal.
Antidepressants are working their magic in that area.
The last two years have just been horrendous for me. It started off with after 2 years of tests, I was finally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia instead of MS (which was good in my book). Then, my dad, who is blind, began falling and getting lost while out and about in our small town. He had carotid surgery in December '04. Two days before his surgery, my mother had a heart attack. They were able to place two stents. My mother was not able to work so I had to help them out financially. Then in May my dad had to have open heart surgery for bypasses. He set a record 9 bypasses! Just like my dad- always gotta out do everyone else. By the middle of June, my mother was just unable to care for him because he was going down hill fast. I had to make the decision for nursing home care because my mom was extremely distraught over everything. We also had to move her from the house they lived in to a senior housing place. The first nursing home that we put him in was horrible. They let him lay in his own urine and didn't tell him about his meals- mind you he's BLIND! They ended up overdosing his coumadin and he ended up in the hospital with his blood so thin it was 'off the charts'. again-that's my dad!
I chose another nursing home that did take good care of him, but his doctor's nurse gave them the wrong medicine info in the coumadin (again) and he was rushed back to the hospital for the same thing- too much coumadin. He had to trust they were giving his meds the right way since he couldn't actually SEE them. This time, he wasn't able to recover so I brought him home to my house to die with family. Two weeks later I lost my dad to kidney failure. No one can understand the loss of a parent until it is lived through.
During all of this, I am trying to run my business with major turmoil from some employees, deal with my fibro, deal with 3 teenagers (two are mine the other an exchange student), loss of a long time pet companion, my husband opening another business against my wishes which doubled my paperwork and many small issues that go with day to day life. My husband began to withdrawl from me, also. Now my hubby of 23 years tells me he wants a divorce. He says that life has just been too stressful for him and he doesn't love me anymore. Can anyone say MAJOR MID LIFE CRISIS??
I just feel like curling up in a ball and crying for weeks. I don't even know why I bother with make up- it's gone in no time from the endless tears streaming down my face. My youngest is a senior this year and I will not pull her from a school she's been at since 1st grade and a house that she has known for a while now. How can I get by living with someone whom I still love dearly every day for the next year? He has offered to move, but I think he should be around for her senior year, too. They are close. I had to pack up my sewing room because he is living in there now so I can't even sew!
I am so lonely for an intimate connection-not sex- just someone to talk to about all of this. I don't have any friends close by and my family is in Florida. I just need a huge hug right now and no one to get it from.
Thanks for listening to me,
Ronda
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Antidepressants are working their magic in that area.The last two years have just been horrendous for me. It started off with after 2 years of tests, I was finally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia instead of MS (which was good in my book). Then, my dad, who is blind, began falling and getting lost while out and about in our small town. He had carotid surgery in December '04. Two days before his surgery, my mother had a heart attack. They were able to place two stents. My mother was not able to work so I had to help them out financially. Then in May my dad had to have open heart surgery for bypasses. He set a record 9 bypasses! Just like my dad- always gotta out do everyone else. By the middle of June, my mother was just unable to care for him because he was going down hill fast. I had to make the decision for nursing home care because my mom was extremely distraught over everything. We also had to move her from the house they lived in to a senior housing place. The first nursing home that we put him in was horrible. They let him lay in his own urine and didn't tell him about his meals- mind you he's BLIND! They ended up overdosing his coumadin and he ended up in the hospital with his blood so thin it was 'off the charts'. again-that's my dad!
I chose another nursing home that did take good care of him, but his doctor's nurse gave them the wrong medicine info in the coumadin (again) and he was rushed back to the hospital for the same thing- too much coumadin. He had to trust they were giving his meds the right way since he couldn't actually SEE them. This time, he wasn't able to recover so I brought him home to my house to die with family. Two weeks later I lost my dad to kidney failure. No one can understand the loss of a parent until it is lived through. During all of this, I am trying to run my business with major turmoil from some employees, deal with my fibro, deal with 3 teenagers (two are mine the other an exchange student), loss of a long time pet companion, my husband opening another business against my wishes which doubled my paperwork and many small issues that go with day to day life. My husband began to withdrawl from me, also. Now my hubby of 23 years tells me he wants a divorce. He says that life has just been too stressful for him and he doesn't love me anymore. Can anyone say MAJOR MID LIFE CRISIS??
I just feel like curling up in a ball and crying for weeks. I don't even know why I bother with make up- it's gone in no time from the endless tears streaming down my face. My youngest is a senior this year and I will not pull her from a school she's been at since 1st grade and a house that she has known for a while now. How can I get by living with someone whom I still love dearly every day for the next year? He has offered to move, but I think he should be around for her senior year, too. They are close. I had to pack up my sewing room because he is living in there now so I can't even sew!
I am so lonely for an intimate connection-not sex- just someone to talk to about all of this. I don't have any friends close by and my family is in Florida. I just need a huge hug right now and no one to get it from.
Thanks for listening to me,
Ronda
------
I don't mind going to work but it's that 8 hour wait to go home that's a B!TCH.
Posted on: 8/20/07 9:45 AM ET
Oh, Ronda. I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say except that sounds incredibly stressful. Is there any way that any of your family could come to visit for a little bit? Or you could go visit them?
{hugs},
Jodi
{hugs},
Jodi
Posted on: 8/20/07 9:59 AM ET
I am very sorry. 


Is there anyway you can move your sewing machine into your room. I have my cutting table in a spare bedroom closet and do my sewing in a corner in our game room so the kids can watch TV or play games while I sew.
Hang in there
!
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Is there anyway you can move your sewing machine into your room. I have my cutting table in a spare bedroom closet and do my sewing in a corner in our game room so the kids can watch TV or play games while I sew.
Hang in there
!------
Posted on: 8/20/07 10:05 AM ET
Oh my gosh - I'm so sorry all these terrible things have happened. You really do need someone to talk to. We are here for you. 




But perhaps a better solution might be to talk to a priest or minister, a family friend, a local psychologist - someone that you can received some personal feedback from.
I'm so sorry.
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But perhaps a better solution might be to talk to a priest or minister, a family friend, a local psychologist - someone that you can received some personal feedback from.
I'm so sorry.
------
What is Maxine saying??
"I don't iron. If I'm not wrinkle-free why should my clothes be."
"I don't iron. If I'm not wrinkle-free why should my clothes be."
Posted on: 8/20/07 10:11 AM ET
In reply to Ronda Rae
So sorry to hear of your difficulties. Thinking of you at this difficult time. Please hang in there and know that your friends here are thinking of you. 







Jenni
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Jenni
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http://sewyld.blogspot.com/
Chocolate is the answer... what was the question again?
Chocolate is the answer... what was the question again?
Posted on: 8/20/07 10:15 AM ET
In reply to Ronda Rae



I feel every bit of your stress and pain. I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. I know internet hugs aren't like the real thing, but I'm sending you one for each hour of the day anyway.























and an extra one
.It will get better..................hang in there!
Posted on: 8/20/07 10:29 AM ET
In reply to Ronda Rae
I am so sorry for what you're going through 


You will get through this. And we're here when you need support.
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You will get through this. And we're here when you need support.
------
Kim
Posted on: 8/20/07 10:33 AM ET
Ronda,
I am so sorry all of this is happening to you. It is way too much for you to handle alone--- but God can carry you through it.. day by day... and hour by hour.
I pray that you would feel God's strength in your life in a mighty way, and that he would give you a sense of comfort and peace, and bring strong supportive and loving christian women into your life to surround and help you.
Jen
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I am so sorry all of this is happening to you. It is way too much for you to handle alone--- but God can carry you through it.. day by day... and hour by hour.
I pray that you would feel God's strength in your life in a mighty way, and that he would give you a sense of comfort and peace, and bring strong supportive and loving christian women into your life to surround and help you.
Jen
------
The mark of a true seamstress is not in her ability to sew,
but in her tenacity to rip.
but in her tenacity to rip.
Posted on: 8/20/07 10:33 AM ET
In reply to Ronda Rae
I am sending you massive cyberhugs.
This sounds like the year from h*ll. You only have to get through it one day at a time.
You might want to give up the exchange student. It may well be the most loving thing you can do for that kid, and yourself. We have hosted two and it adds a little (sometimes a lot) more stress to the family. The school year has only started, so a school change (if necessary) won't be that difficult. Giving up an exchange student happens all the time when a host family hits crisis mode: illness, divorce, job loss, etc.. The coordinator can find that kid another home. That's her job. The student will be affected by all your problems, too, and may appreciate a different family, as that student is going through their own personal crisis of culture shock and language difference.
Have "the courage to change the things you can change."
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This sounds like the year from h*ll. You only have to get through it one day at a time.You might want to give up the exchange student. It may well be the most loving thing you can do for that kid, and yourself. We have hosted two and it adds a little (sometimes a lot) more stress to the family. The school year has only started, so a school change (if necessary) won't be that difficult. Giving up an exchange student happens all the time when a host family hits crisis mode: illness, divorce, job loss, etc.. The coordinator can find that kid another home. That's her job. The student will be affected by all your problems, too, and may appreciate a different family, as that student is going through their own personal crisis of culture shock and language difference.
Have "the courage to change the things you can change."
------
iPad's auto-correct is my enema.
Posted on: 8/20/07 11:18 AM ET
Hugs
. You've had a terrible year. Two major life changes (loss of a parent and a marriage ending) at one time is a massive amount of stress. I agree that you may have to give up the exchange student.
Take care of yourself. This kind of stress can be hard on your health.
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. You've had a terrible year. Two major life changes (loss of a parent and a marriage ending) at one time is a massive amount of stress. I agree that you may have to give up the exchange student. Take care of yourself. This kind of stress can be hard on your health.
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Marilyn
January 2009 to January 2010 81 yards out and 71yards in January 2010 to the present 106.7 yards out and 146.5 yards in. January 2011 to the present: 47 yards out and 69 yards in.
January 2009 to January 2010 81 yards out and 71yards in January 2010 to the present 106.7 yards out and 146.5 yards in. January 2011 to the present: 47 yards out and 69 yards in.
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