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Moderated by Deepika, EleanorSews
Posted on: 6/6/06 2:33 PM ET
First of all, I'd like to state that this is not a rant against libraries. I agree completely with the library's actions.
Anyway, a month ago, the library called, and said that one of the library books my daughter (12) had borrowed on her card was returned with pages cut and that she would have to pay to have the book replaced ($17, but they give us the copy of the book that was ruined). What happened was that she left scissors where her 3 year old brother could get at them, and he decided that one of the Narnia books was too long.
I talked to her about it, and she has to work it off (chores) because she can't pay it. About a week later, I found two of MY library books (ok, two books that I borrowed with the intention that she could look at them) completely soaked. So, I did my best to get them dry, but the pages were rather wavy when we took them back last night. So, the library is choosing to replace those books as well, and each of those books were $20.
So through neglect, my daughter has ruined 3 library books (with help from her little brother), and has racked up library fines of $57. The original lecture/anticipation of work didn't keep the second incident from happening. I don't know what to do to get it through to her that this is completely unacceptable, apart from barring her from library books altogether.
The problem with that is that I was planning on using the library as a resource for trying homeschooling this summer. About all I can come up with (which is not so great for the library) is to ban all library books from coming home, and do all of our reading/research at the library.
So, what would you do with her?
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Anyway, a month ago, the library called, and said that one of the library books my daughter (12) had borrowed on her card was returned with pages cut and that she would have to pay to have the book replaced ($17, but they give us the copy of the book that was ruined). What happened was that she left scissors where her 3 year old brother could get at them, and he decided that one of the Narnia books was too long.
I talked to her about it, and she has to work it off (chores) because she can't pay it. About a week later, I found two of MY library books (ok, two books that I borrowed with the intention that she could look at them) completely soaked. So, I did my best to get them dry, but the pages were rather wavy when we took them back last night. So, the library is choosing to replace those books as well, and each of those books were $20. So through neglect, my daughter has ruined 3 library books (with help from her little brother), and has racked up library fines of $57. The original lecture/anticipation of work didn't keep the second incident from happening. I don't know what to do to get it through to her that this is completely unacceptable, apart from barring her from library books altogether.
The problem with that is that I was planning on using the library as a resource for trying homeschooling this summer. About all I can come up with (which is not so great for the library) is to ban all library books from coming home, and do all of our reading/research at the library.
So, what would you do with her?
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Muria
Where did all this fabric come from? I CAN'T have bought THAT much!
Where did all this fabric come from? I CAN'T have bought THAT much!
Posted on: 6/6/06 3:07 PM ET
In reply to Muria
How old is she? Does she get an allowance?
Nina

Nina
Posted on: 6/6/06 3:11 PM ET
In reply to Muria
Muria,
Was the 'soaking' incident your 12yr old's fault or again, did the 3yr old intervene? Personally, and let me confess immediately that I have no children, I don't think the Narnia cutting incident was your 12yr old's fault. Might not the little boy as easily have cut up one of your cookbooks as you went about your busy day? Now if she stood idly by and watched her little brother cut up the book, different story (no pun intended).
Maybe you need to set aside a special place where your daughter reads the library books - not her room. If she sits somewhere in the family's 'public spaces,' then 2 persons (you and she) can keep an eye on little brother and/or scissors and/or glasses of water.
If she's homeschooled, she's probably not be acclimated to the classroom rituals, "ok, get your book from your cubbyhole," "ok, return your book....." You get the idea. I'd give her another chance, with some changes and rules instituted. Library access and use is really important, at her age.
Kate (KAB)
Was the 'soaking' incident your 12yr old's fault or again, did the 3yr old intervene? Personally, and let me confess immediately that I have no children, I don't think the Narnia cutting incident was your 12yr old's fault. Might not the little boy as easily have cut up one of your cookbooks as you went about your busy day? Now if she stood idly by and watched her little brother cut up the book, different story (no pun intended).
Maybe you need to set aside a special place where your daughter reads the library books - not her room. If she sits somewhere in the family's 'public spaces,' then 2 persons (you and she) can keep an eye on little brother and/or scissors and/or glasses of water.
If she's homeschooled, she's probably not be acclimated to the classroom rituals, "ok, get your book from your cubbyhole," "ok, return your book....." You get the idea. I'd give her another chance, with some changes and rules instituted. Library access and use is really important, at her age.
Kate (KAB)
Posted on: 6/6/06 3:11 PM ET
What if the books don't come out except under your direct supervision (i.e. homeschooling) and teach her to do some research/reading/learning in the library esp. with the more expensive books?
When you can't directly supervise, the books go away someplace safe (something with a lock might be good ;)).
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When you can't directly supervise, the books go away someplace safe (something with a lock might be good ;)).
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Bridget
It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?
- Eleanor H. Porter, Pollyanna, 1912
It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?
- Eleanor H. Porter, Pollyanna, 1912
Posted on: 6/6/06 3:29 PM ET
At 12, she is certainly old enough to pay for the books whether it be out of her allowance or by doing extra chores around the house. $47 is an awful lot of chores so she will hopefully learn to be more careful.
If it doesn't work, I like your idea of not allowing the books to come home. There's nothing wrong with doing all research and reading at the library. But again, at 12, she is certainly old enough to accept the responsibility for library books.
If it doesn't work, I like your idea of not allowing the books to come home. There's nothing wrong with doing all research and reading at the library. But again, at 12, she is certainly old enough to accept the responsibility for library books.
Posted on: 6/6/06 3:46 PM ET
I like the idea of having a specific place for the books, and that they always be put away. And, of course, letting her work the payment off!
OT, but similar--only two weeks before a competition, a sewing student at our school left her nearly completed skirt sit out, and her two younger brothers took scissors to it! A painful lesson for her, as well as for DB's!
OT, but similar--only two weeks before a competition, a sewing student at our school left her nearly completed skirt sit out, and her two younger brothers took scissors to it! A painful lesson for her, as well as for DB's!
Posted on: 6/6/06 4:00 PM ET
In reply to Tiner W
Quote: Tiner
--only two weeks before a competition, a sewing student at our school left her nearly completed skirt sit out, and her two younger brothers took scissors to it!
--only two weeks before a competition, a sewing student at our school left her nearly completed skirt sit out, and her two younger brothers took scissors to it!
Ouch! That one hurt me, just reading it...all that creative hard work. Poor baby.
Kate (KAB)
Posted on: 6/6/06 4:07 PM ET
In reply to Muria
The key to your post for me was that there was a lecture and only the anticipation of the work between the two incidents. Give the actual consequences a try before you lower the boom. I think if she could somehow earn the money from a source other than at home it would be especially beneficial.
Also, some unsolicited advice from a homeschooler: It's great to try it in the summer, but be aware of the summer attitude issues. A kid her age is conditioned not to be school-minded at this time of the year. Please evaluate any of your attempts with that in mind before you abandon the hsing idea.
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Also, some unsolicited advice from a homeschooler: It's great to try it in the summer, but be aware of the summer attitude issues. A kid her age is conditioned not to be school-minded at this time of the year. Please evaluate any of your attempts with that in mind before you abandon the hsing idea.
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You have a beautiful body if:
--You have a body
--That's it
--You're beautiful
--You win
--Congratulations!
--You have a body
--That's it
--You're beautiful
--You win
--Congratulations!
Posted on: 6/6/06 6:04 PM ET
My dd has lost a tape out of several sets of recorded library books, so those are banned from now on. She had to pay for the replacements with her allowance. She blames the cat for knocking her iPod to the floor, but she left it where he could get at it.
I agree with keeping the books where they're only accessible to you, since it's very hard to keep a 3 year old's impulses covered and a lot of older kids just can't pay attention and be careful enough to protect things, even when they're not directly damaging them. Anything else you could just stop having around, but books are important, especially if you're homeschooling.
DD's friends have all wrecked and lost things and never seem to learn. One just had her second iPod stolen from her school locker. Not only can't she learn to not bring it to school, you have to wonder about the parents who replaced it.
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I agree with keeping the books where they're only accessible to you, since it's very hard to keep a 3 year old's impulses covered and a lot of older kids just can't pay attention and be careful enough to protect things, even when they're not directly damaging them. Anything else you could just stop having around, but books are important, especially if you're homeschooling.
DD's friends have all wrecked and lost things and never seem to learn. One just had her second iPod stolen from her school locker. Not only can't she learn to not bring it to school, you have to wonder about the parents who replaced it.
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Buy the best and you only cry once.
Posted on: 6/6/06 6:24 PM ET
I too have given the "library " speech! Last summer two of my girls lost books. One was eventually found, the other lost forever! Since then library books have a special place, a big vinyl bag by my reading chair in the living room. That is their home, they can be read anywhere in a safe zone, i.e. not outside, not in the tub, but they MUST be returned to the library bag. This has worked out great!! Even works for me putting my books in. Since we ususally go the same day every two weeks, I take a peek a few days before to make sure everything is in there. I just pick up bag and we're off. Also they each get 6 books. Giving them a special number helps them to remember how many books they had. I love the library as an adult and as a child it was an refuge for me. I know you'll come up with a solution so your daughter can keep going without it costing you lots of money. Good luck!
Jeannie
Jeannie
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