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Member since 9/1/10
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Posted on: 9/3/14 10:06 AM ET
Is it just me? It drives me insane when people don't use the correct door for coming and going.I'm specifically talking about when there's double doors. We've just come back from vacation so I guess I'm particularly irritated because I've been around people a lot more than my average day. The one day we were going into a restaurant and there was congestion at the entrance because of people waiting to be seated. So we'd just walked in and a family was leaving. We're standing IN the doorway because we couldn't move. Rather than opening the other door this lady is looking at me as if to say Would you please move.I'm saying AUDIBLY "There's another door. The other door works". Ok fine whatever. Hug the door and slide through. I got nowhere to go. *shrug*

But here's the thing that REEEEEEALLY burned me up. We stopped at a gas station on the way home. Husband is pumping gas. I go into the store. As I'm approaching the door, there's a man heading out. There's two doors. So I open the door on the right. Before I could step foot inside the store this man brushes past me and says Thank you.REALLY!? WOW! I mean I guess I should be grateful he at least said thank you. But just for the record, I don't open doors for men. EVER. Unless they're elderly or disabled of which he was neither. I was out. done. Why couldn't he have just used the other door? Geesh![/rant]
  
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Posted on: 9/3/14 11:04 AM ET
My pet peeve is people who don't stand on the correct side of the escalator (or moving sidewalk) and block it. Same rules that apply to the street sidewalk apply to those through fares. I feel your pain!


-- Edited on Today at 11:05 AM --
  
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Posted on: 9/3/14 11:40 AM ET
I am a Canadian so my point of view is probably different. Not criticizing yours just expressing another.

If I am approaching a glass door and someone else is approaching from the other side, I would expect the person who got to the door first, regardless of gender, to hold it open for the other person again regardless of gender. It makes no difference at all to me, if there is one door or 6 (like at the mall).

It would never occur to me to not hold the door open for another person.

In your restaurant example I would expect the people exiting the building to be given the right away.

But I have been known to wait holding a door if someone is approaching it and if I let it go it would close in their face.

I try to keep right on stairs, escalators and sidewalks, but have had some interesting experiences in places where people keep left (UK and NZ).

I live near a small city that depends on tourism. I have to keep in mind that visitors may not have the same 'rules' as locals.
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Posted on: 9/3/14 12:27 PM ET
I think it's so funny how people crowd in front of a packed elevator pushing to enter. Yes, you have to move aside and allow the occupants to EXIT first, lol. People seemed rushed and distracted, just like me.
  
Member since 10/30/10
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Posted on: 9/3/14 3:11 PM ET
In reply to Michelle T
Michelle - you are right. It might be a Canadian thing. In my case adding to it is that I was raised by a manners obsessed English born mother raised by a manners obsessed Englishwoman. One may be poor, but there is NEVER a good reason to behave with a lack of good and proper manners. EVER.

I was taught that the people exiting a building or an elevator have right of way. In other words they go first and if possible and appropriate you hold the door open for them - especially if they are elderly, disabled, or obviously need help for other reasons - like hands full, children in strollers, wheelchairs and so forth. In the olden days, if it was an able bodied man coming exiting the building and you are a women, you don't hold the door but allow him to exit. Then he will hold the door for you to enter. How things have changed.

On escalators, I was taught it was very rude to be climbing/descending the stairs - although some times it is necessary. One may wonder if you are climbing/descending the stairs on an escalator why you are not on the actual stairs to begin with.

So, if you are climbing/descending the stairs on an escalator - then you need to say to the person who is blocking your way "excuse me, may I please get by". The reason is that people should have the right to hang on to what ever side is comfortable for them and for their needs. For example if they have a child with them, they may need to hang onto the left side. Or if they are holding packages with their right hand. Of course, one should never even consider asking unless it truly is some kind of emergency. An escalator ride is what - 30-45 seconds? You can't wait your turn to get off that you have to barrel past the people who got on before you?

It is interesting how different places have different customs/manners and how things have changed. What I was taught may not be right but it is what I was taught.
  
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Posted on: 9/3/14 3:12 PM ET
After teaching for 30 years, I do not relinquish my space in a hallway or corridor. I walk on the right, and will move a little bit, but if someone walks toward me into the right "lane" (thus breaking the rule rule of traffic), I will continue on until they move. I know it is small of me, but I tried it the other way---------->watching out for others walking and getting out of their way. I was swerving around like an ant.

I choose the right hand door, and always open it for others behind me no matter their gender or age. It's just polite. Most of the time, the man will take the door and escort both myself and his partner through. It's just a little social nicety.

I get annoyed with the lack of manners in our culture, and try to model good manners.
  
Member since 9/1/10
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Posted on: 9/3/14 3:21 PM ET
In reply to Michelle T
Michelle, I'm not saying I don't ever hold the door for others. If someone is behind me or close behind me I will hold the door until they get there. I don't ever leave a door to close in someone's face. That's not what I'm talking about.

I don't open doors for men and stand back for them to enter before me. Well at least not intentionally.If I get to the door first I walk thru and then hold it until they grab it.
I know that chivalry is not dead because my husband is a gentleman. My brothers are gentlemen. They open doors for me.

The mall is different there's a ton of doors. You never know what door someone is going to choose. I'm specifically talking about when there's double-doors and people act like the 2nd door doesn't exist. Why stand there and have a traffic jam in one door when there's a perfectly good 2nd door that will eliminate the problem. There have been instances when I was approaching a double door and folks were coming out and they were going to stand there and hold up their whole party. I simply smile and say thank you and open the other door. There's just no reason for it IMO. I mean the sky's not going to fall. Just one of my pet peeves.

In the restaurant example, the other door WAS their right of way. There was nowhere for me to go. There were people in front of us and people behind us waiting to come in.
  
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Posted on: 9/3/14 3:22 PM ET
In reply to Cathy Loves Fabric
Yeah and some people really try to get on before others get off.
  
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Posted on: 9/3/14 3:28 PM ET
In reply to marec
Quote: marec
I choose the right hand door, and always open it for others behind me no matter their gender or age. It's just polite.

Yes I do this also. In my gas station example the man not only didn't use the right hand door that was available to him but he barged thru the door as if it was appropriate for a woman to stand back and hold a door for him. I don't happen to think so.
  
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Posted on: 9/3/14 4:52 PM ET
People are clueless. We are animals with animal brains, and our higher human reason kicks into play rather late sometimes.

I know around here, many times (most, even?) those second doors AREN'T actually functional; they are permanently locked and don't open. The only one that opens is the one on the right. I think we come to assume not to even bother trying.

I remember one charming moment a few years ago, when an elderly gentleman and I hit the door at the mall at the same moment. We had a confusing dance, each of us trying to open the door for the other--he to be chivalrous to a young lady, I to be respectful of my elder! I can't remember who finally won (but it might have been younger-faster-stronger me. LOL. I'd have let him get the next set, though!).
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~Elizabeth in the prairie
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